A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a crush on my lecturer at university, i find myself thinking about her all the time, I know its wrong but i look for reasons to speak with her and see her i cant help it, but shes in a relationship and i would never dream of ruining this, or acting on my feelings. Im confused and dont know what to do because im not sure if she likes me or not as she stares at me a lot right in the eye for what feels like ages, when she talks she speaks directly to me, sits near me for a long time if theres a spare seat, so what does this mean?I seen her once the year before, and had her as a lecturer the year after, she remembered me suprisingly and i remembered her.[Mod note: This question was also asked by the same poster]I have this university lecturer who stares at me a lot in the eyes constantly, when i look down and look at her again shes still staring what does this mean? and most times shes nice but other times she avoids me what does this mean?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2010): Thank you for your advice it was a lot of help,
I am trying to get over it but its hard, my foolish brain is addicted to thinking about her, i thought it would be easier as i dont see her but its only getting harder. Ofcourse I wouldnt do anything because i would never want her to lose her job, shes great at what she does. She isnt teaching me anymore as the years over so i dont see her anymore.
A
female
reader, goodfriend +, writes (14 May 2010):
I would just enjoy it from afar. Don't do anything about it. It could cost them their job, and it's just not worth it. If they don't feel that way, it could be very awkward for you also. She may just like you, but not as a crush. Try your hardest to get over it, is my advice, you could save yourself a lot of hurt.
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A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (14 May 2010):
 Not to be mean but i do doubt this woman has feelings for someone as young as yourself who also happens to be student, if you did have feelings for you acting on them would without cost her job and any academic jobs in the future my advice is if you must like her this way admire her from a far as the other option is not worth risking it. i hope you dont find this to harsh and it can be of some help =]
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (14 May 2010):
 I cannot tell you if your lecturer likes you in that way or not. Lecturing can be a fairly boring job due to the repetitive nature (I personally hated it). I think if you have students in your class who are awake, not listening to their ipod or fiddling with their phone and looking interested in the class then you might look at them more than other students (innocently). University staff have been known to have relationships with their students. However, I think this sort of thing is frowned upon in the Dean's office because it over-steps that professional barrier. You also have to be realistic about it - if you had an affair with this woman and it finished, she is still teaching you and marking your assessments for your course.
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