A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi. i hope someone can help me. i'm a lesbian and my landlord is a divorcee for approximately 18 years. to my knowledge she's straight although i've never seen her with a man, she has 4 grown kids and she's kind of dominant acting. she is very controlling and all the tenants are frequently get annoyed with her. i used to be intimidated by her but then i started standing up to her. we lock horns frequently and most times it is i and not her that ends up screaming at her to the point where i literally lose my voice and end up beyond exhausted after our horn locking. what gets me so wacked out is she will come around when i'm in a happy mood and relaxed and just say something completely irrational to pick a fight with me. she will remain calm throughout and it is i who ends up snapping. for example, she will ask me "why did you give your neighbor ice cream?" and i will reply "because i wanted to share with her" and in turn she will state "i don't think that was a good idea. she can buy her own" then i will ask "why do you see such as a problem. sharing is normal and what i share with my friends is none of your business anyway" then she will state "well you should mind your business" and i will ask "what are you talking about? how is sharing ice cream with a friend being intrusive?" and she will reply "well you told me you gave her ice cream" then i will reply, "yes, but again how does the act mean i'm not minding my business" and she will say "it's not your place to give her ice cream" and i will state "it's none of your business who i share ice cream with" then she will say "i never said it was my business. you were the one who told me you were sharing ice cream with her" and i will reply, "yes but this conversation commenced with you asking me why i gave her ice cream" then she will state "well in the future when someone comes to visit you they need to come to my office (which is her home in only a few doors away from my home) and get a visitor's pass first" then i will get more pissed off and louder and respond "are you fkn crazy. that's not part of my lease and no one else has to do that. its none of your damned business who visits me!" then she will say, "well you're the one giving out ice cream to people and to a person who i didn't think was your friend." DO YOU ALL GET THE JUST OF THIS B*LLSHIT?! She is driving me in sane and worst more these sick encounters don't stop with the original reason for which she approaches me and messes with me. each encounter will endure for at least 2 hours or more because she will throw other irrational subjects into the encounter when i shut her down with the prior irrational topic. it's like she gets off on seeing me lose it mentally while she remains cool and taunts me with ridiculous nonsensical bullshit. In the end I storm away from her and slam my door to her face. then i ignore her for days or a week and finally give in to her hand waves and smiles and it's like we're best friends and nothing ever happened. why does she torment me like this? i can't handle it? she makes me go crazy and act an out of control fool yelling and screaming at her about how irrational and intrusive she is. what can i do to get her to stop messing with my head and being my boss? what the h*ll is her problem? i can't take it and she knows it. she always wins. i cant just walk away and ignore her bs without standing my ground. i want to turn the tables so shes the one screaming and yelling and i am calm and in control of her stupid sh*t. it pisses me off that she's so controlling and always fkn wins by maintaining her composure even when i tell her she's basically a fkn irrational idiot!!!! why does she fk with me constantly and then get upset if i ignore her? i don't understand this sick sh*t. please help.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 October 2013):
 Landlord how? Do you rent an apartment/room or house? And honestly I have never been in a situation where my landlord meddled or fought with the tenants.
What I don't understand is why you play her game. WHY the yelling at her? If she ask you (like the example) why did you give your neighbor ice cream, I would just say none of your business and go inside your home. I certainly wouldn't shout and yell myself hoarse at her. WTF !
Look in your rental agreement and see if guests need visitors passes (because that sounds bogus).
Also I would seriously look into finding a new place to rent, because that is WAY to much drama for my taste.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (6 October 2013):
 This behavior is common among bosses. She wants to be the big Rottweiler scaring off a little pug. It has nothing to do with your sexual orientation. She is picking on you because you react to her. That fuels her enthusiasm. To piss her off the thing you do is actually ignore her. There are people who are so miserable themselves that they need company. Sitting at an office all day is miserable. She needs someone to acknowledge her existence so even negative attention is good. She needs to know that her life has importance and power by treating others like weaklings.
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