A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm worried my husband has a crush on my best friend. They have gotten really close over the past year and I'm wondering if he has a crush or if I'm just being paranoid. What are signs I should look for that show he may be interested in more than just friendship with her?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): Look for him making comments about her out of the ordinary, or joking about her. If they seem to hang out or do casual things when you're not around, like single people would do, such as shopping, coffeeing, talking on the phone often, meeting up.. Does he stare at her alot or do they seemingly talk alot more to each other than she or he would to you? Is there flirting or touching out of the ordinary, such as he doesn't normally hug, but hugs her? Those are sure signs, when used collectively and put together with your gut feeling, that you should be telling her to back off and give it up. He may not think he's doing anything wrong, and she may be leading him on in a deceiving way, but it will get progressively worse until cheating if you don't get really brave and tell her and him both, separately, how you feel. Put your foot down, if things seem that awkward. If he's married, you might have to remind him of his limitations as a husband, and you might have to put a stop to how your friend is acting. A similar chain of events occured in our marriage, and when I look back on it now, I realize how misleading our friend was and how blind I was, that I couldn't see how she was trying to slowly deceive not only me, but especially my wife. Things are alot more peaceful now, without that friend around and I don't regret trying to trust my wife's extremely bad gut feeling about her. I don't know how close to that your story is, or if you're only going by a hunch without any evidence, but if many of those signs are there, don't turn your back on your instincts.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): Has he seemed to have lost more interest in you? In my situation, I am like your husband and your best friend is like my boyfriends friend because i used to have feelings for my boyfriends best friend. It made my feelings change for my boyfriend, like i felt as though i had fallen out of love with him. I would think about his friend more and would get excited to see him and i would text him more which i never used to do. The thing is though is that his freind was acting like he had feelings for me and was giving me attention that my boyfriend didn't. I felt as though my boyfriend was neglecting me those emothins so when his freind started showing me them, i started to really like him. So watch out for:-Your husband being less interested in you-Excitment over circumstances where your friend will be there-his actions around her: - Is he always looking at her - Does he try to get in situations where he is alone with her? - Do they have deep private conversations together? - Have they started to hang out with eachother when your not around when they never used to - Do you have a "feeling" he does (which you obviously do) Try confronting him on it when he least expects it:His reaction may tell you
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A
female
reader, kitty-cat=] +, writes (25 June 2010):
![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png) well, there isn't enough information. what do you mean by "gotten really close" do they hang out without you? talk on the phone a lot? if they dis-include you and hang out a lot there might be something up, think of it this way, usually people who get married have a lot in common. you probably have the same interests right? so, what do you like about your best friend? maybe he likes that too. if you trust your friend enough, and trust your husband enough, there shouldn't be anything to worry about. i hope it works out :)
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