A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been going out with my girlfriend for over three years now but i have recently been having doubts. My girlfriend has always been quite friendly with other guys (being in a male dominated profession) and she is also quite flirty (friendly as she puts it!). An incident recently however has started putting doubts in my mind. It all started 1 year into the relationship when my girlfriend went to a party which i didn't go to. I did go to pick her up though and when i walked in she was swapping numbers with another guy. I was quite upset and at the time she said she was only being friendly since he was N Irish like her. She has since said she was sorry for hurting my feelings and i had pretty much got over it. Also, in the past she has also been quite funny about her mobile, sometimes not checking texts when i was there and on 2 or 3 occasions grabbing it from me to check it first. After talking about this however she explained it as a worry that there might be something personal from her family. After these chats she has stopped behaving in this way and again i had almost put this behind us.Finally, just recently i got jealous about some guy she had been on a night out with and so we were chatting. We talked about honesty and being open and she admitted that 4 months into the relationship she had been on a night out with a group of guys and she had got chatting to one particular guy. Apparantly he was having issues with his girlfriend or ex-girlfriend (she said she couldn't remember). when they got back to the campus where they were all staying he asked her back to his room and she went! She says she stayed half an hour chatting and looking at some photos with a cup of tea before leaving. She took his number but she says nothing happened.The fact that she told me makes me think i should trust her but i still have a niggling doubt. We have chatted and argued loads about this and i don't know what to do. If i can put this behind us i think we can have a great relationship since she has done some amazing things to show me her commitment.I am at a crossroad. Am i being a paranoid, jealous and untrusting guy or am i being a pushover and letting her away with 'murder'?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2010): You have been dating her for three years. You are not engaged to be married. She has a right to date or talk to what ever other man she wants to, she is free, white, and 21 and single.
If you want her to make a real committment, then you have to make a committment....like buying a ring, dude.
I am sorry that she is fibbing to you, but it doesn't sound like she is being sexually unfaithful as you are exclusively having sex with one another, but she has the right to take care of herself and keep her heart open until you ask her to marry you. She's smart this one, and her Heart belongs to her. I am sure she loves you or she wouldn't have given you three years, but it doesn't take three years to decide if she is the one, and you and she both know that.
She may be getting ready to move on, I can't say I blame her.
A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours  +, writes (25 June 2010):
 DERHERHARHAR, q
Love always,
SY
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A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (25 June 2010):
"There might be something personal from my family" is straight up oscar mayer, dude.
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A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (25 June 2010):
 I am sorry to say that I would be suspicious and at some stage I think she is going to cheat. She appears to be keeping her optioms open with the pleasure of having a steady b/f to fall back on. I don't think she is as committed as you are. I think you may need to develop some more interests for yourself and go out with the boys a bit more rather than relying on her or waiting for her as you are coming across as very keen and not much of a challenge. From your post she doesn't appear to be very trustworthy and has an answer for everything. Start going out with your friends more and don't be too dependent on this one.
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