A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: a couple of months back my gf and i were offered a threesome or foursome with another couple who were mainly interested in my gf (they didnt want me to have sex with the other woman) my gf who is a prude in the bedroom these days, who hates things like dildos, porn or masturbation because she thinks they are vulgar even though she used to do all these things at the start of our relationship and in previous relationships not to mention far more promiscuous things who now hates to even try new positions because it makes her feel dirty, started saying she was thinking about doing this foursome and that it would be really fun and whatnot. anyway about 15 minutes later she basically just said that she was joking and just seeing my reaction so i didnt think anything of it. however we then received another email from the couple containing nude photos and some ideas they thought might be fun to try out again she started to say she wanted to do it and thought it would be great.. this went for longer, around 45 minutes before she said she was joking about it. whenever i mention it now she gets really angry and changes the subject straight away.does my gf secretly want to do this foursome and was just testing my reaction (i was not really into the idea) or is it just a fantasy?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2011): To me, the key word here is "angry". Why does she get angry? Anger is a strange feeling and often masks other deeper emotions. It could be that she's angry because she's scared or could be because she doesn't want herself to want it, but still does. Sometimes we get angry with ourselves, denying or not accepting that we've never changed and we're still the same person of the past. Maybe she wanted to be a "better" person and to realise that she's still attracted to that kind of stuff makes her feel disappointed with herself.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2011): Read your own writing here.
"(she) hates things like dildos, porn or masturbation because she thinks they are vulgar even though she used to do all these things at the start of our relationship and in previous relationships not to mention far more promiscuous things who now hates to even try new positions because it makes her feel dirty, started saying she was thinking about doing this foursome and that it would be really fun and whatnot."
Mark my words - your sex life with her is never gonna be good like the stuff she did with her exes. This girl's idea of love and sex is all messed up. Being a good BF to her will get you less adventurous sex not more. She will only have wild sex with bad guys.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2011): I'd say she is interested but she'll never admit to you that she really is interested. You could try and draw her out by consistently saying you'd never do it, but if it turns her on then let's explore it in fantasy talk. But... I think it's low probability any of this will get you anywhere. I think there's relationship storm clouds on the horizon I'm sorry to say. I don't know what her issues are (as a woman I could speculate on several) but I really have no idea from what you've written what is really going on with her.
I hope I'm wrong. I don't think I am.
You need to start talking and clearly sex is a topic you need to be talking about. The prudish behavior and this threesome/foursome thing are signs.
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