A
female
age
30-35,
*_Mae93
writes:okay so my ex and i have been broken up 6 months. oct 7 would have made it 2 years. we have a daughter he got married to a girl after being together a month and as from what i hear they have alot of problems, anyway when me and him were dating when i was still pregnant we had broken up and he thought i was dating someone else so he comes to my house and starts yelling at me saying that he's in love with me and that he will always be in love with me he was almost in tears. my best friend told me the other night while i was at his housse to ask him if he remember that night and if he meant it when he said that he was in love with me. so when i went to his house to pick up our daughter i asked him if he really meant that he was in love with me while we were dating and he looked me dead straight in the eye with a serious face he didn't look away or anything and he said yea i meant it. and i don't know how to explain the look in his eyes he had a glowy sparkely look in his eyes. we had been texting a lot lately and when i had taken our daughter to his house he asked me if i needed gas and i said idk cause i really didnt want him to be giving me money. well he gave me his debit card and said get how much ever you need. i was like okay ill just use 5$ and he was like no 10$. my question is my best friend said that when i asked him that question and he looks me in the eye and says yes he meant it then he really was in love with me and that chances are he still is because he says he got over me in 14 days, and im still in love with him and i can't get over him. but he still has all the things i gave him such as vday cards i asked him if he was keeping them and he said yea he was for our daughter. then when i told him i would pay him back the money that he gave me for gas but he said no because it was helping take care of our daughter.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2012): never, EVER, go after a married person. EVER!!!!! it doesn't matter whether or not their relationship is a happy one, a sad, one a bitter one. you never go after someone's husband or wife. it's disrrespectful and selfish. think of others for once. yes, your feelings have validity. but you do realise that if you went after this ex you'd be destroying something (a marriage) regardless of how strong or not it is. let it go and be a better person for it. you would be the one who sacrificed her happiness (if you want to go that far, i personally think it's just selfishness) for the something bigger than yourself. don't ruin a marriage or you'll regret it. and if this ex really is still in love with you, don't LET HIM ruin his marriage either. if it crumbles at least you would have little to do with it.
but for the love of EVERYTHING THAT GOOD AND PURE, please!!! do not, i repeat, do not always put your feelings ahead of decency and respect. because if you follow your heart in this situation, you'll be the homewrecker for life. even if people don't call you that or don't say it. YOU will know that!!
don't think in the short term, meaning you could rekindle something with the ex; think in the long term, meaning you made the better, righter choice and avoided a catastrophe.
use some moral fiber.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (1 October 2012):
 He's married, leave this alone. Other than dropping off and picking up your daughter, you should leave this alone. That is the classy way to do things. I repeat, he's married.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (1 October 2012):
 he's married. it does not matter if he's in love with you he's MARRIED
I keep my wedding stuff from my first marriage in 1981 for my kids but i have no feelings for my ex.
is he paying child support for your daughter to you? if not he needs to be paying a set amount (court ordered if necessary) and NOT just giving you money if the whim strikes him.
he's an EX honey and you need to set some boundaries.
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