A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex and i broke up after a year and 2 months together at the end of last year. (We broke up because we argued too much)During the 4 months we had apart we saw other people but we decided that we still loved eachother and met up again.The thing thats getting to me is the fact that my ex has decided that he doesnt want a serious relationship right now (he says its because of going to seperate unis in a few months and he just feels weird at the moment)I know he's not using me for sex as we do lots of other things and he's happy to go without that however it leaves me so confused and it makes me wonder if maybe he's not as into me as i thought.But what makes it even more confusing is that whenever i bring the subject up he starts crying and saying how he hates how confused he is and just doesn't understand whats going on because he does love me...Honestly, do you think it could be uni etc that is stopping him from being with me or do you reckon he just doesn't love me as much as he says?Its really getting to me as he used to make me feel like the most wanted girl on earth when we were together!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, GetGirlAgain  +, writes (10 May 2010):
 I wrote this on my phone and there were a few typos.
Here is a correction to the most powerful sentence.
I want to to be free when I go to college, I don't think it's right to date this deeply/intimately when we are not together, and I need to get over you now.
By the way, he will try with all his might to stop you, but you must be ready to completely run away like the wind.
I guarantee you he will call you over and over.
Just imagine if he did the same thong to you. Natural human processes will force him to chase after you and do whatever it takes to get you back.
It will open his mind to how much he really loves you.
My girl got me back this way when I broke up with her, and I got her back this way when she broke up with me.
Neither of us feels manipulated by playing games. We are both thankful the other one opened our eyes to the love we would be missing if we broke up.
Begging, pleading, and convincing him to stay with you will only make him sure he wants to move on. Stop bringing up the subject.
Contact me at http://www.losttheone.com I will personally answer your questions.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (9 May 2010):
Yes he is using you. He's not committing, but is happy to have sex. He's using you. You are being strung along by him. All those problems that you had before, all those arguments, you will have again because you're not sorting the problem and neither is he. He's just using you to get his own way. This won't work out, so if you want to be more than just a FWB, move on now.
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A
male
reader, GetGirlAgain +, writes (9 May 2010):
Hi, I usually help guys, but you seem in need of some good advice, that I have.
1. He crys because he DOES have feelings for you.
2. His mind is almost surely telling him a new university is a chance at a NEW LIFE. He loves you, but at the same time. A long distance relationship would not only cause constant sadness, but also keep him from exploring his new world, a new world that includes women.
3. Guys (in general) love girls more than any other aspect of life. There is NOTHING more exciting to a guy than meeting a new girl that gives him sparks. (face it, girls are the same, no?)
4. You will also be losing out on your world, and you should probably go explore your new world too.
5. I understand you don't want to, so I can show you how to keep him... Just make sure the consequenses (stated earlier: sadness vs. Excitement and exploration) are worth it to you.
6. You will not believe me when I tell you how., But I am a 28 year old with massive UNIVERSITY experience in this area. (not studying it. Helping uni students, andy personal uni life. I can almost guarantee what I have to say will keep him.
7. I am not into "playing games" but what I'm about to tell you will "appear to be playing games until you understand it on a deeper level.
8. Tell him this, and he will beg you to get back together: "I think we should stop seeing eacother, because I want to to be free when I go to college, I don't think it's right to date this deeply youse are not together, and I need to get over you now, so I can be totally free when I get to college. So this is goodbye. Please do not contact me anymore"
9. You must immediately say goodbye and leave without listening to him. Do not answer his questions. Just leave or hang up the phone.
Do not answer his calls until he leaves message like this:
"breaking up was a big mistake and I want you back. I'm so sorry I treated you so badly"
You should not alter what I told you at all, each piece is very impotant.
Let me know if you think I'm crazy, or you need more info. You can find me at http://www.losttheone.com
If you sign up for my free videos, or leave a comment on my site, I will personally email you and answer all your questions.
Once again, my site was made for guys, but everything applies the same to men as it does women. It is all HUMAN psychology.
You can keep him
Jesse
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