A
male
age
41-50,
*ell-me-more
writes:I'm in an emotional dilemma and I'd like to hear ladies viewpoints.I met a women 6 years ago and we had a 3 month relationship. We first met in a cafe in town. For weeks we did the eye contact thing before we started chatting. It was flirting at its best. We didn't last,in fact it was a right car crash.A year after we split, she phoned and her first words we " I don't want you back, I want to talk". We chatted a while. Then 1 month later she texted saying " I want closure, and again added I don't want you back. Eventually we stopped texting.We didn't see much of each other for 4 years, and if we met, we'd say hello in the passing and that was that. She's in an on-off relationship and has a 2 year old daughter.But May last year, she approached me ( in the same cafe we'd met in ) and says " I still have feelings for you, a bit of me will always love you. But I don't want you back" Now, here's the scary bit.She wanted to name her daughter with same name as my wife ( but didn't ) Can't believe I went through her mind as she was in a materity ward. ( I got hitched last summer ) I put the whole saga out my mind but since Dec she's in the same cafe on a v regular basis now. We both seem to know that Mon and Fri at 5pm we'll be there. And the whole eye contact thing is very obvious. She'll sneak a glance, say hi, even if her boyfriend is there. He's picked up on it I'm sure.It's hit me like a train that I fancy her rotten and still miss her. But I have a lovely wife and wouldn't risk my marriage for her. So now I'm steering clear for a while.My unanswered questions are...1 Is the eye contact innocent, or windows to the soul?2. The big speech back in May, was she sounding me out or just unloading her feelings?3 Three times she's said " I don't want you back" Does she mean it or has she given herself away? Personally, if I didn't want someone back in my life I wouldn't feel the need to tell them.Your thoughts please
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2009): Wow. If you do love your wife, keep working on your marriage and avoid the other woman.
She seems to play games and all I could see happening is you cheating on your wife but nothing happening with the other girl. This will just cause problems...
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