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Does my ex boyfriend want me back or is he just playing games?

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 January 2016) 3 Answers - (Newest, 6 January 2016)
A female United States age 30-35, *uperwomen20 writes:

So my ex boyfriend of four years broke up with me because he believed I deserved better and he needed to get his life together. However, according to his friends I was clingy and had trust issues, which weren't fully true. He wasn't being fully honest about why he broke it off with me because after the break up he had began lying about his whereabouts and started partying. He is not a party animal at all. After the break up he inisisted on us remaining friends but I refused and decided to cut all contact. He eventually agreed and we didn't speak for two weeks. He then texts me to wish me a merry christmas and me being the nice person I am I greeted him back but the following day he texts me for sex! We got into an agrument and he eventually just says bye! after that he unfollows me on instagram, we were already no longer friends on facebook. So another week passes then he sends me a apologetic text and he finally tells me that there is another girl in the picture but his heart still belongs to me and he still wanted to be in my life like wtf! I text him the following day acting like I didn't care(wishing him and the girl the best) and told him I was moving on with my life and just wanted to be friends down the line. He then tells me the girl is just a friend and he hasn't moved on. Also, he starts to bring up sappy and sentimental stuff from our relationship and says he can take being my friend he just wanted to still be in my life. He seemed pretty down because I just wanted to be friends but what do you expect from me. What is this guys problem?

View related questions: broke up, christmas, facebook, my ex, text

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A female reader, ellsie96 United Kingdom +, writes (6 January 2016):

ellsie96 agony auntThis guy is definitely playing games!

He probably expected that after the breakup you would be the one texting and calling him all the time trying to win him back. However, you took none of his BS and stayed away, attempting to move on.

Don't let him lure you back in! It won't work!

I bet he'd probably have sex with you a couple of times, string you along a little and then fully end it when some other girl came along that he could satisfy himself with.

He's lonely, horny, and trying to manipulate you with mind games.

If I were you I'd ignore him and if down the line, say in 5 or 6 months, he still hasn't got over you and is begging you to give things another try (without mentioning sex) then maybe give it a shot, if that's what you want to do.

Hope this helps :)

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (6 January 2016):

Honeypie agony auntI agree with Janniepeg.

HE is not trying to win you back. He is not having as much luck as he thought he would have and thus contacts YOU for sex.

I think the fact that he told your friends lies about you and the break up was to make himself look "better" in their eyes and you the "bad guy" - like calling you clingy and distrustful... No guy wants a GF who is like that, right? So by painting you in a "bad" light he made himself look like he did the right thing..

AND he did! But for for you than him. Obviously you are not the clingy, needy, insecure GF and you seem to get the notion that 1. friends don't pester friends for sex and 2. you and him aren't going to BE friends any time soon, if at all.

Block him and KEEP him blocked for a good 5-6 months. Not for his sake but for your own. If you want to "get" over him, no contact is the way to go, this guy is already trying to play on your heartstrings with his "woe is me" I still love you blah blah blah. He is hoping this little manipulation scheme will make you drop your panties occasionally when HE wants sex with no strings.

If after 6 months you are truly over him then MAYBE there can be thoughts of being "friendly" - them talk to him and see. ( I say friendly over friends because exes being true friends is rare, due to their history together).

Focus on YOUR life, not him. He chose to walk away from a good thing (you) and that is his loss. Let yourself heal and move on with life. YOU really don't owe him crap.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (6 January 2016):

janniepeg agony auntHis heart doesn't belong to you, his dick does because no girl is giving it to him. He thought that single life means lots of sex, no attachment but now he realizes it's not what it's cracked up to be. So he expects sex here and there from you until he could land on some other pussy. When he mentioned about the other girl, there is really no point if they are just friends. He only told you that to make you jealous and hopefully want to sleep with him again. That backfired of course. He is down because he knows that if his life is not together, then no girl would want to be with him. Still, there is no need to be nice to him. He can't be friends with you. Friends don't bug for sex.

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