A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so I know this is about my dreams clearly but does it relate to my relationship? and how?I woke up this morning and I just felt real mad and sad because of my dream.I dreamt that I was with my bf (who just so u know is this guy I am in love with but he lives in a different country from me and ive only met him once, and right now we dont call ourselves bf/gf) and I dont fully remember everything but I think we started to argue or I was nagging at him about something and then this other girl comes along, but the other girl was me, and he talks to her and falls in love with her within a split second. Hes talking to her and cuddling her and her (me) back to him and I said to him but arnt u taken and he was just like oh dont worry i'll break up with her in a second and like I started to cry because he didnt know that he was breaking up with me to be with me but also that he fell in love so quickly with another girl, but it was me so I dont get this.Also a few nights ago I dreamt that I was in my grandparents old house in the kids room which had 2 single beds in it lying on one of the beds and my bf (same guy as before) was sitting on the floor with these 2 girls and all 3 of them were very drunk. The 2 girls were flirting like crazy with my bf and I was just lying there listenin and getting more and more mad by the second (and anyone who knows me well knows I would get up an b***h at my bf then make the girls leave) well they finally suggested a threesome and was gettin my bf to agree and actually say yes we should have a threesome to which he obvious did and im lying there raging. They were making all kind of sexual advances to him and making him agree to everything they said. One of the girls then semi strips, takes his hand and places it on her breast, but she had to hold it there cuz he was soo wasted and had no movement or anything going on. I then get up push him over and start making out with him, which he is then sick. Yes i mean as we are kissing, my mouth on his he begins to be sick. I pull away calling him a jerk and wiping my mouth, hes sitting there being sick, the 2 girls are having a go at me because they were all about to have a threesome then I just started to scream at them telling them to gtfo and that will never happen etc etc etc then i kinda woke up.....but then i fell back asleep again really mad about that dream and I was sitting in my kitchen reliving that dream over and over again.Can anyone give me some insight as to what the hell these could mean, it would very much be appreciated. And sorry for the long read
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): this is towards 'toribender' as it was me who asked the question. I live in the UK, him in Canada. We met 3 years ago when I was in canada, spent ALOT of time together while I was there, swapped contacts and have been talking every day for hours since.
Yes I am very happy in the relationship, as he makes me incredibly happy and knows me so well.
I also do trust him, I trust him with my life and I do know for a fact he will never cheat on me. He would dump me first before he would cheat.
Also he is not my first bf or anything Ive had quite a few prior to him.
The problem is me!!!!!
Im so insecure within myself...when I was younger I used to be thin and pretty and one of the popular girls then I went through a tough patch (mostly to do with family) and I went from a size 10 to a size 20. I have never lost the weight and I feel sooo ugly (my bf knows my size, and actually prefers chubby girls funnily enough) I also dont go out as much and I have lost many many friends. The friend thing and going out thing doesnt bother me ALL that much but its more how I look. Im obsessed hes going to look at some other girl and be like wow look at her and want to be with her. Like how am I suppost to compete with those girls who are pretty and have amazing bodies and figures....I cant.
I know that once I accept how I look and that yes i am fat but yes he does love me im in trouble because i let it ruin me at times. To see me you would never know how self-loathing i truly am. I can even look at soo many girls of all sizes and see all the positive things about them and how beautiful they are but myself I just see ugly fat and question why someone would want that when they can have a gorgeous size 10/12 girl.
A
female
reader, toribender +, writes (10 November 2010):
 Ok,I'm a believer that dreams that you remember are a way of telling you sub consciously under lining thoughts, and they represent the way you feel about someone/situation.
Now first of all, your Boyfriend lives in a another country and you have only met him once? How did you meet him? And is it far between the two of you to meet up?
Be careful, as I am concerned that you are saying your in love with him, how much do you know about his guy?
I personally belive that you have some under lining problems with the fear that as you two aren't together alot of the time ( please do correct me if I'm wrong) that he has or is cheating on you. KNow this could be a big issue in this relationship as with the description of how this dream made you feel that you might be releasing that anger on him when you do speak to him, which will push him away. I think you need to really evaluate this relationship and ask your self:
Is it making me happy?
Do I trust him?
Can I ask is this your first love? Or have youhad a boyfriend previous to this? Sorry, that is quite a personal question but just would be interestuing to know.
I personally think that you should leave him, start on your self, as I also sense that there is a bit of self loathing on your behalf, that you are unhappy with things about yourself.
I've learnt that the only way to get people to love you, is when you start loving yourself/
I look forward to hearing your response to this. Please don't take anything I have said persoanlly as I do not know the ins and outs of this relationship.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (10 November 2010):
 The only thing I can make out clearly from your dreams is that you are a jealous person and you are scared your boyfriend is cheating on you, and I suspect because he lives so far away you are angry that you can not be there to watch over him and b***h at him and any girl who should approach. That is why you find yourself on the side-line in these dreams, as you feel you are on the side-line in real life, and unable to do or say anything about the situation.
However, as I suspect there are no reasons to believe your boyfriend actually is cheating/falling in love with someone else, your dreams are telling me that you are a jealous person. You are scared he will meet someone else/cheat on you. So scared of this that you even worry if your dreams have anything to do with your real life boyfriend.
Your dreams do not relate to your relationship. Or to your boyfriend. Your dreams only relate to you. And how did you feel in those dreams? Sad, angry, upset, jealous, hurt. Those are the real feelings you have, and you need to figure out why you feel this way. It could have absolutely nothing to do with your boyfriend.
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