A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Actually I just wanted some opinions on this, thanks in advance!! :My bf has been seeing girls' pictures on Facebook (sometimes his friends, friends of friends... , or even some girls she doesn't know); besides FB, he also checks out sexy model pictures online, watches porn sometimes... I don't really mind all these... I'm very open about sexual fantasies and sex related topics, and I always talk to him about what I like and what I think...Yet when I talked to him about why he's seeing all these pics, he said he just likes to look at pics... of female's bodies, that he finds them very attractive. He even saved some girls' FB page, and bookmarked those sexy girl pics he found online, then I thought it must be for masturbation... then when I asked him about it, he denied everything and just said he is just seeing them, but he is not going to masturbate/fantasize about these girls... then I got really offended because I think he is lying to me! My attitude about sex has always been open and he knows it, and I did not confront him, I just talked to him about it, in a nice way.However he still "denies" everything, then I asked why did you have to save it... if you just happen to see some pretty girls on fb... there's no need to save a link if you are not turned on by that, reason you save a link is because you want to re-visit it some other time?! Right?!!?I get offended not because I found out about this, it's because I feel he doesn't open up to me... is he ashamed of his behaviors? Or did he really not lie? Is it possible for guys to just "look at pretty girls pictures" and not feel excited??? I don't know, I feel he's not really honest, and I HATE LIES!!!! I'd rather him telling me yes I jerk off to those pictures... but it really pisses me off why he can't just ADMIT it? Am I wrong??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2012): Thanks everyone for their advice! Yes, maybe I just need to know I'm not crazy... and at least you girls let me know I'm not abnormal...
I just thought if he is so not honest about small things like this, he could be lying about other "bigger things" too... that's probably the trigger of our arguments on this... because he way he talked about it... is really really genuine... so I was thinking if I was being too paranoid... but whenever I think of how "genuine" he is telling me about this or some other things, it makes me really worried about who this person really is...
A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (29 April 2012):
 He's almost definitely lying. It is possible for guys to be looking at pretty girls on fb, but it's highly unlikely he would download the photo just to look at it because it's pretty, pretty much impossible. You should explain to him that you are not bothered that he masturbates, but when he lies to you it destroys your trust in him.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (29 April 2012):
 Goodness knows why but I suspect that he is worried about your reaction. His strategy of denial is not working as you already know what is happening.
I would be more upset by his denial of doing anything - when that is clearly not true - far far more upset by that. Though not bothered if he wants to use his time that way. Yes it's a bit juvenile. But not the end of the world.
It is the lying that needs to be discussed. Is he scared of losing you if he tells you the truth?
The Big thing to remember about guys is that their life and thoughts about girls almost alwasys start our as the VISUAL aspect first. So guys get turned on just noticing a girl in the next car, at the supermarket, a new girl in the work place.
I think I read stats once that said that men think about sex and allied aspects to sex every few seonds.
Your guy has just chosen a method of focusing on sex that is easily verified.
He needs to be more truthful with you. Let him know that you love him and accept him, warts and all.
But that you do not want him lying to you, whatever the circumstances.
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A
female
reader, ChristinaMaeMurphy +, writes (29 April 2012):
 I had a very similar issue with my husband... I'm going to be straight with you. My husband said the exact same thing as your bf, just deny deny deny... I am very much like you, I am very open about sex and anything of that nature. I don't think that you are wrong at all!
I think that if there is something going on, if he is masturbating to these other women and lying about it, that maybe he is lying out of shame, alot of times porn and/or pornographic material can bring a sort of shame into the picture... Or maybe he thinks that even if you say that you won't get angry or upset with him if he is masturbating to these pictures, that you'll get pissed anyway and he'll have to pay the price for it later, kind of thing.
I do agree that the only time, men especially, save dirty or sexy pictures of women is to "re-visit them later" as you had said in your question.... In my opinion, he's not being honest with you.
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