A
female
age
36-40,
*aine
writes:Iam 26 my boyfriend is 38 he is going through his second divorce. I have not meet his parients yet. Does my age have anything to do with me not meeting his parients?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 March 2011):
 If he is still going through a divorce maybe he doesn't want them to think less of him for dating someone else before the divorce is final.
Is there a hurry for you to meet the parents?
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 March 2011):
 I think it has more to do with his two divorces. He does not want his parents to think : " Oh no.... here we go again ":
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A
female
reader, maine +, writes (11 March 2011):
maine is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe have been together for one year and 3 months. I used to live with my boyfriend for 6 months. I don't thank age matters, love has no number I have met his friends. And i have met his kids. once i understand that he is protecting his kids, he has two. With the first ex wife i have not seen them in 7 months. My boyfriend and I have been through a lot. He is so good to me we have a lot in common. I know why i am with my boyfriend because i want a future with this man. I have never felt this way before i never want to lose him.
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A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (11 March 2011):
 I am positive that his reluctance is far more due to his situation than to your age.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2011): Your age might have something to do with it, but it's probably more HIS age and HIS circumstances at the moment that make him reluctant to introduce you to his parents.
He's pushing 40 so he's a full blown adult at this point. He's probably not going to seek a blessing from his parents for who he dates. They likely aren't a prescence in his life the way they might be in yours.
You might read this situation of him not introducing you to his parents as: "Is he ashamed of me? Is he ashamed of my age?" He may very well not see the need to introduce you to his family unless you formally become part of it, through marriage or unless you date for a couple years and move in with him. This is pretty common for older people and people who have been previously married. To a certain degree it makes sense, it might be irritating to him parents if he introduces every girl he takes an interest in...they might be meeting a new person every year or so. (I don't know how long you've been together or how frequently he dates)
Then there's his life circumstances: His parents likely know his former wife and they likely know he's going through a divorce. You can't really know how they feel about it; if they approve or disapprove of the divorce; if they blame him or blame her for the divorce, if they are close to the ex wife or not. Divorce can make parents pretty judgemental about their kids. My sister got divorced and all of a sudden my mother became a detective trying to figure out whose fault it was and what my sister could have done better to avoid it.
Perhaps the last thing he wants to do is add to a dramatic situation by introducing his new girlfriend before the divorce is finalized. Technically speaking, he's cheating on his wife with you. That's bad enough, but fact that you are so much younger doesn't look very good. It might brand him as "immature" and a "player" by his parents. If his wife (soon to be ex-wife) finds out, he could be branded a "cheating a**hole"
And theres another possibility: some people are just private about their family. I dated an older man who had no problem introducing me to his friends, but would chase me out of his house on Sunday mornings so I would never run into his brother or mom. When I asked him why he didn't want me to meet his family, he said, they would "ask him too many questions" and he didn't want to deal with the interrogation. He seemed ashamed of them to a degree. (He could be ashamed of his family, not of you.)
I sort of understand the sentiment, because I have family members I would never wish upon anybody I was dating...and I admit I would probably try to keep them at a distance for my own sense of dignity.
These are all possible reasons. I think your age probably has something to do with it, but I think it mostly hinges on him: He doesn't want his family to know about you. I think the pending divorce has alot to do with it. I think his age and experience has something to do with it. I think your age has less to do with it.
All of this leaves you with a choice to make though...do you want to stay with someone who treats you a bit like a dirty secret? I know it doesn't feel very good. If you've been dating seriously a while and he can't be open about his relationship with you, then maybe it's time to rethink why you're with him at all.
Good luck.
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