A
female
age
30-35,
*ungirl
writes:my boyfriends mom scolded me and blamed me because my boyfriend wants to get married before he finishes his education and i told him that i want to get married after he finishes his aeronautical engineering licence, because then he can fully concentrate on family life and we both can give our kids a good life someday.he is still 24 and i am still 22.Am i wrong to say that being financially secure and having a steady income is also needed, and including love?Is love the only thing that is needed in a marriage? While job security and financial stablity and maturity, are they not important? please advise Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, charliesdevil73 +, writes (30 October 2011):
 Great question! So many people think all you need is love, maybe because of the Beetles :), but you do need more. I felt the same way you feel now. I always wanted to finish college before I got serious enough for marriage with anyone. College can be a huge stressor on a relationship for financial reasons but also for time reasons as well. You don't want to start off a marriage fighting about money and how you never get to see each other. There have also been studies that show finances is what most couples fight over.
I would just tell your boyfriend that you love him a lot but you want to be done with school and financial secure before getting married. If he gets upset, ask him why he is so upset and go from there. Maybe he feels he needs to be married by a certain age or he will consider himself a failure. I know some men who are like that. Mostly, he probably just really loves you and thinks that you don't want to marry him because you want to wait. Maybe you could just be engaged for a longer amount of time, that is starting to become more common since weddings are so expensive. Couples get engaged and then save up for a few years before they set a date and start planning. I think if he really loves you, he will see your point and you two can come to some sort of agreement.
A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (29 October 2011):
 yes financial security is important to a relationship, so is trust ,love, and many other things. it does not sound like your b/f is a dead beat he is going to school and and has set goals for you both a future. when my wife and i got married we both was working part time jobs. i did not stop there, i went to school after work while married . went into the airforce we had kids, got out of service got a good job raised raised our family. we both worked part time for a couple of years when we first got married. my brother met his wife in college he completed four years they got married, they went on to finish his school of three more years so he could become a lawyer. you both need to agree on when you decide to get married , it needs to be only the decision between you two only. i wish you the best of a happy future together what ever you decide!
...............................
|
