A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my ex and i broke up last summer yet we still talk a lot. he recently moved to another state and we haven't talked all that much. he did come to visit and things were like we were back together as a couple. i have been doing my best not to communicate with him, because he says he is not sure if he is going to move back to his home state. i do not want to keep waiting on this man. we did talk a few weeks ago and he said he is tired of being lonely. i told him that is a decision he chose to make and he accepted that. he also said he knows he is going to regret breaking up with me, because he knows no one will ever love him or care for him the way i did. i then asked if he knows that why did he do it, and he said because of some of our bad times were either his temper flew off the handle or mine did, and that is what is keeping him from asking me back.He kept saying through out the conversation that he wanted to tell me how he felt but he couldn't. i guess i am confused by this. this man is my best friend and vice versa. i told him that i am talking to someone new and he got very upset. he said he knows he doesnt have a right to feel this way, but what it is really bothering him is that i am talking to someone new.i guess i want to know how do i know he is sincere, in what he is saying? that he misses us and that he knows he will regret losing me? is his jealousy a sign that he still harbors feelings for me and loves me or is it just a macho territorial man thing?
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female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (19 March 2011):
 This sounds exactly like my ex....it's actually freaky!! My ex found out that someone else was interested in me (i actually told him about it) and he kinda freaked out and started promising me everything I've ever dreamed of, saying that we would be together in the new year etc blah blah blah. I was made up, but new year came and went and nothing came of it.It could possibly be one of those situations of 'well if i can't have you, no-one can. But if every so often i decide i want some fun i'll give her a call coz i know she's waiting on me...' Yes, these things happen hun so don't fall for his act too easily. If you want him back you need to know he's genuine, only you know how he can show you that.We humans are strange and confusing creatures, but listen to what your heart has to say about the whole thing and go with gut instincts!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe would have been together 2 years this September...at the time we talked i wasnt actually talking to anyone. i said what i said because he was talking about girls in his new state and how easy they appear - he claims he hasnt done anything with anyone and that, that is the LAST thing on his mind- i used to be able to read this guy like a book and i suppose its bothering me that now half the time i am second guessing myself. i dont want anyone to tell me what i want to hear. far from it i just want to know why hes acting this way.i realize only HE knows why he is acting this way so i guess im asking for insight from outside parties.truth is before he came to visit he said he never wanted to be with me ever again.then the night he was leaving he asked if i still loved him and if i would wait for him. i said why would i if you said you NEVER want to be with me and he said... you never know...i realize hes most likely confused about a lot of things i can understand that but i dont want to be the stupid person letting life pass her by because im waiting on an empty promise. to answer your question... if he was to ask me right now... yes i would take him back in a heart beat i believe that we truly do belong together. if he waits too long though i cant promise i would be able to take him back anymore. at the end of our conversation he did say time fixes everything but im not sure if he meant that in time we will be over each other or if in time him and i will be ok or if in time i will be over him ... hes truly love bi polar... one minute he says he loves me and cares so much about me nd the next (if i have done something wrong) he hates me and wants me out of his life... i too am guilty of telling him i want him out of my life when i am mad at him and ive said i hate him too... but he knows that hes the ONLY man ive ever loved ...
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (19 March 2011):
I think his jealousy is down to the fact that he still cares for you. How long were you two together for just out of interest? He clearly regrets breaking up with you, but does have things that he is in turmoil over resulting in him not sure whether or not to get back together with you.
I'm in exactly the same situation, only my ex is with someone else :( Would you like to get back together again? Would you be willing to make some changes to make it work? Or are you not that fussed, could you quite easily move on?
Also, he has no right to get mad over who you speak to. Anyway, you're only SPEAKING to this guy! It's not like you're marrying him or anything! I understand you don't want to be waiting around anymore, but you need to work out what it is YOU want, and then go for it. Follow you're heart...
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