A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone,I'm dating this guy for over 3 months!!and I'v seen and learnt from experience and also my friend's relationship,the minute you totally give a 100% your boyfriend lose interest,they love it when they have to work for it..and I don't want my boyfriend to take me for granted!so I don't always answer his calls and reply to his texts,I do but I take time in doing so,which pisses him off!but my boyfriend has pretty much the history,he was never in love,he was a flirt..he's head over heels in love with me,and does nice things for me but I'm just not sure yet!What do I do?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (15 July 2013):
 I would just be yourself and stop playing games.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2013): You are on the right path, but you're going a little over-board. Don't ignore his text messages too long, just wait maybe an hour or so before you answer. Answer most of them quickly to show him respect and that you care.
Don't show too much of how you care for a person too early in a relationship. Even if they seem "head over heels." It's always good to get to know a person well, before you completely commit yourself.
You say he gets pissed off if you don't answer right away. If he is mature, he shouldn't; but if you're ignoring them too long, you're being rude.
I need to clarify something for you. "Playing hard to get" is a stupid old-wives tale. You shouldn't play games at all.
It is correct that you should allow a guy to pursue you to establish his interest. That is done by not jumping to his beck and call. Not allowing him to control you. Teaching him that it isn't always his first call, you sometimes have first dibs on making decisions.
You teach him to respect your time, appreciate you as a person/woman, not to think he is the center of your universe; and that you are strong and independent.
Sometimes he pursues you, and you pull back a little. Then you can reverse the roles, and you can pursue him a little.
Spend time together to get to know his quirks, and watch his temper and his ability to compromise. You may have inadvertently upset him with delayed responses to his calls or messages; but if he over-reacted, consider that a red-flag. It's one thing to be disappointed, it's another to lose your temper and respond with rage.
Please don't manipulate him by his feelings. It makes me a little uncomfortable to hear you say he is head over heals so soon in a three-month relationship. That comes off as a little needy, and you need to slow him down just a little,
until you are certain of where you stand emotionally. It isn't good to be caught up in an infatuation. Don't comment until you are both on the same page emotionally.
Good luck, I hope things work out as planned.
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