A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I've been involved with a married man for over 2 years, he calls and txts me 3-4 times every day. I'm seperated from my husband due to abusive relationship. My estranged husband has confronted this married man multiple times and has also informed his wife, she doesn't believe my ex but has some suspicions as to what is going on. My question is that through all the upset that has gone on this married man has never dumped me he says that he wants us to be together, does it sound like wants to be with me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2010): You are right Carrot, she jumped from the fry pan into the married mans life,(fire) help me understand this: generally when someone has been in an abusive relationship they try not to hurt others. Our OP has become the abuser her, abusing her married lovers wife. Now she is gloating and waiting for her married man to come home to roost. Choices.
-LoveGirl
A
female
reader, Carrot2000  +, writes (25 August 2010):
 He hasn't dumped you yet, but he hasn't dumped his wife either. The first time your husband confronted him, your married man had an opportunity to come clean and leave his wife but he didn't. Multiple confrontations later, he's still with his wife. As long as she chooses to look the other way and you continue to see him, he really has no reason to leave the comforts of home. Right now, this man is getting the best of both worlds. What are you getting?
You may not view it this way, but I think you left one abusive relationship for another. This man is playing with your head and will string you along as long as he can get away with it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): he ha not dumped you because you serve your purpose very well. what man will not be in his element to have a woman flat on her back, legs in the air and then he goes home to his wife. you do the maths. i can just imagine all the lies he is telling his wife.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): I think he wants to be with you, I know of 4 couples who had affairs and are now together and very happy, just cos he hasn't left yet doesn't mean he won't leave in the future. As for his wife she seems to be burying her head in the sand.
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (23 August 2010):
 it sounds like he keeps telling you what you want to hear, maybe things will work out but is he even getting a divorce. the fact she doesn't "know" or is ignoring the signs of your affair points to them staying together and him having you on the side. generally when people are married they have a lot of financial incentive to stay together, and this is quite often why people "look the other way" and hold marriages together.
people will tell you what they need to to keep a situation that suits them. give him an ulitmatum, then you will know how he feels. if after two years he isn't prepared to jump ship he probably never will be...
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A
female
reader, Morrissey-fan +, writes (23 August 2010):
Never mind your question, you need to stop doing this to his wife.
Karma can be a slow process.
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A
female
reader, Ashley321 +, writes (23 August 2010):
Becareful, he may just be interested in sex. When it comes down to choosing you or his wife, you may be left heart broken; just remember this from a woman that has been where you are now, you deserve a man of your own, if he loved you, he would want a life with you. Trust me, I have seen men say they are not ready for a relationship, then meet someone and all of a sudden she is number 1. Don't settle for being 2nd, find a love of your own.it's hard to move on, but everyday it gets better; even if you have bad days sometimes and feel like you are not moving on. One day you will wake up and see it doesn't hurt so much anymore.
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A
male
reader, boydjohn026 +, writes (23 August 2010):
Yes, he does want to be with you. Sounds like he is trying to figure out a good way to end things with his wife, to be with you.
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