A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am very attractive, but I think I have low self esteem. This guy I like has rejected me several times. It started a few years back when he told me that he was separated, but wanted to pursue a friendship with me. Since, then we have dated off and on. But he seems to always push me away, and I always find a way to make it my fault that he did. Lately, we decided to be friends. Even though we are friends I still want to see him once a week. So I told him I would stop by at noon today. I did and he wasn't there. I called, and he didn't answer. So I texted him I would stop back by later. He then responded, No, you will wait until you have my permission before you come over, and not whenever you feel like it. I said ok, apologize, and asked if he was upset. Why do I care if he is upset...why am I not anger with him. Does that mean I have low self-esteem because I am mote concerned about him than myself.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2015): Last night the guy from the scenario decided to text me. It feels good to say that I was not encourage to respond. Sure, I appreciate the gesture to clear the air. However, the timing, what I want from a guy and what he can offer does not coincide.
The weight of his responsibilities makes him cold and bitter, which does not appeal to my southern heart. I agree with you all it was very inappropriate for me to go see him without his consent. Although he has every right to iterate that he does not like for me to do so -and for a lack of a better word- integrity in his response would have capture my heart.
It amazes me that we only have one life to live, and he would rather feel his heart with disappointment than happiness.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2015): Thanks for the advice. Though I am not ready to engage in anything that's isn't platonic with another guy. I did share my story with a nice strange today and he put something into perspective for me. "I'm a great catch for any guy". And he suggested moving on without without the hope of rekindling with with my friend. He made me realize that if I only look in front of me than I will see a lot of potential guys.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2015): You are not angry at him because you have no right to be angry, just sending atext saying you're going to come over doesn't mean a) that you're allowed to and b) that he wants you to come over at that time! It's extremely rude. You come accross as way too clingy and he's not even your man! Leave him be.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2015): It seem's like he was upset with you for saying you would be at his house, rather than asking if you could go by.
Maybe you should put some distance between him and you. If all he wants is a friendship, you should respect that and not expect to see him every week. He may not be available all the time and you need to be okay with that.
You don't have a low self asteem, you just seem upset that the guy you want doesn't want you. Accept the friendship and find a different guy :)
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