A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey cupids.Ive been with my bf for coming up 5 yrs. We have been living together for almost a yr. We both work a lot, he works a lot of night shifts while I work on a rotating shift pattern, days, nights and afternoons...because of our work we don't see each other much. For 2 yrs I think ive fallen out of love with my bf. I love him as a person but im not sure if I am IN love. I dont fancy him anymore and I see sex as a chore and cant wait for it to be over. I dont want to leave him because I know how much he loves me and he would be heartbroken...ive never cheated in our relationship but I do fantasize over other men. My question is - can I stay in this relationship even though I dont fancy him? Is there anything I can do to get the spark back? I dont want to leave him.please advise me, thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2015): After so long, maybe obstacles outside of the relationship have become bigger over the years. And instead of addressing them, maybe you have both procrastinated to the point where now you are feeling the way that you are.I say this from personal experience. It'll be my 6 year anniversary with my partner soon, and I too hit that rough patch you speak of a few times during the year. On reflection, you do acknowledge that you care for the guy, maybe you do still love him.I'd say that you two book a holiday or long weekend and try to reconnect. Or have a break from each other's company (not the relationship) and see how you feel.When I did this with my partner, I realised I may have fantasised about other men, but it was always a yearning for what I had with him early in the relationship and it soon lost it's vigor. Try discussing it with him, maybe he isn't aware there is a problem for you both to fix? I hope everything works out
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