A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I’ve got a few related questions here- if a guy goes backpacking on his own for 4 months and doesn’t have sex in that time, is that likely to be because of chosen loyalty to a potential girlfriend but current friend-with-benefits or more likely just because the opportunity didn’t come up? He’s someone who normally doesn’t go very long without sex, so it’s unusual, and he’s been telling me (the friend with benefits) how much he misses me, misses sex and wishes I was there to share this experience with him.- does it mean anything that he’s suddenly started calling me things like ‘baby’ and ‘my sweet’?- are there any other signs I can look out for that would suggest he’s interested in something more serious with me now? We’ve both had to work through ex issues which is why things haven’t become serious so far, but he’s been telling me this trip has been just what he needed to sort out his head and what he wants. It’s another month till he comes home and I don’t want to start asking him heavy questions through email or broken phone conversations, I’d rather do it in person where I can see his body language etc. But I’d like to get some idea of what I can expect without having to wait another whole month!
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2009): He's not into you. If he were you would not have to ask these questions, he is keeping you on a string while he is doing what he wants to do. Does it mean something that he doesn't have sex while he is backpacking, yeah, he had no access to a woman.
If you are calling yourself a friends with benefits, it is very unlikely that he is going to ever elevate you to girlfreind status. He is gone for a month? Take this opportunity to extricate yourself from this great deal for him and focus on yourself. Start dating, don't settle for nothing short of a relationship. Otherwise, never expect sex will make a man fall in love with you. It won't, it simply does not work that way. He may fall in lust with you , but not in love. Remember, relationship first, sex last.
A
male
reader, Trans Am Man +, writes (2 September 2009):
 I'd say he's in love with you.
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