A
female
age
30-35,
*ella16
writes:For all the married men out there...Does it mean anything if a man doesn't wear his wedding ring?
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (13 November 2009):
 Della, you're not going to believe me I know, it's just going to take time, but someday, you will look back on the amount of time you spent obsessing about this teacher and realize that you wasted a lot of energy and time on him. Perhaps this is some kind of phase you have to go through, perhaps you have a life-lesson to learn here, I don't know. I have some idea that in cases like yours, the day-dreaming and fantasies that are built on a word and a glance and the observation that there is no wedding ring on today are distractions from some other problem in that person's life. There could be something unpleasant or unwanted that you just don't want to think about, so your brain gives you something more pleasant and exciting to consider.
Someday, you'll realize that this was all a big waste of time for you, that if you'd taken the youthful energy you are applying to this now, and focused on something that was possible and something that contributed to your personal growth, you'd be a richer person for it.
Again, it may be that you have a life-lesson to learn here. Some people have made their life-partner choice, and there is no undoing it, or undermining it--you are not the chosen, it is a bitter pill, it feels unfair, but there it is. It is something you will need to learn to accept, either you do it with grace or not. There are other, uglier life-lessons that I have learned, but those will be for you for another day, perhaps never. There is nothing so unsettling as to learn something you believed with all your heart was a big, fat Hollywood-style lie.
For now, I know that you are young, and your hormones are going nuts and you are stuck in that me-me-me phase that all teenagers (including myself back in the day) experience. That you become a wiser and spiritually richer person is what I wish for you.
Take care.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-my-teacher-interested.html
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (13 November 2009):
 Della,
I'm taking your question at face value. I'm a married Man, which is who you directed the question to. For the majority of my married life I didn't wear a wedding band. It wasn't because, as quiet echo put it, It interfered with my ability to pick up women. I may be unique, but I really believe that men see this differently.
You asked what I meant by being innocent. At the time, I was thinking you were married to the man in question. To put it bluntly, I meant that he may be innocent of entertaining thoughts of infidelity. He may be not wearing a ring and not looking for women to pick up. To repeat myself, Men just think differently. Not better or worse just differently.
I'm in my 40's now and see things differently. I'm more capable of seeing things from other peoples point of view. So I wear a ring now. Not because I care, but I don't want to send the wrong message.
Now that we have covered my point of view lets look at some other people. I had a salesman come to my business about twice a month. He wore his wedding ring faithfully. He also asked my secretary for a date several times. To the point that we had to ask for another representative from that company. He was older than I am. I guess he didn't think his ring interfered with his ability to pick up women.
My mother was a school teacher. We had a conversation about teacher/student relationships. I can't recall what brought the topic up. Perhaps a movie. She told me that in her coursework they talked about this. About how to avoid entanglements with students. So considering the amount of trouble a teacher can get into for having an affair of any kind with a student, I would think he would be informed enough to send the right message. (ie. wear a big flashy ring that says"hands off") Of course it is possible, if this is a new/recent behavior, that his ring is lost. It is also possible that he is young and egotistical and expressing his individuality by refusing to be branded.
So have I answered the question without judgment, or straying to far? The subject of student / teacher relationships is a whole different topic which has been well covered. What I'm saying, to put it very succinctly, is: don't take his not wearing a ring as an invitation to get involved with him. There is quite a good possibility that in his mind it means nothing of the sort. That is the safest course for you.
FA
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A
female
reader, della16 +, writes (13 November 2009):
della16 is verified as being by the original poster of the question all i know is that when he is around me he doesnt wear his ring....
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (12 November 2009):
 It depends on the man. Some don't like jewelry at all, or are just forgetful and leave it off absentmindedly, or are hypersensitive about being branded, or just think it looks odd on a man. But then some men leave it off to try to get other women.
Does he leave it off all the time or totally at random, even when out in public with his wife? Then it could be innocent.
Does he only leave it off when going to parties or bars or only leave it off when going to a particular place (like the office)? Then it might be a cause for worry.
It varies man to man and situation to situation. PERSONALLY, I would keep mine on if I were married, but that's just me.
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A
female
reader, della16 +, writes (12 November 2009):
della16 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionso please spare me your cruel remarks
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A
female
reader, della16 +, writes (12 November 2009):
della16 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioniam honestly just curious about the question in general....
my father when married to my mother never wore his wedding ring and he is a jewlery type of guy...and i just wanted a mans point of view on this matter, because maybe i just think too much about little things like this....
but i leaned towards my situation when people started asking question, so im sorry for looking stupid and being hard headed
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2009): so do you think by him not wearing his wedding ring it is open invitation for you to get with this married teacher?????
please spare me from children trying to f*ck up peoples lives. good one katyayni, well spotted.
young girl, you really do not want to hear my thoughts about you. i think you should start saving for counselling when you grow up. you are a mess!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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A
female
reader, della16 +, writes (12 November 2009):
della16 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionactually there has been, he is not married to me..
but i've had feelings for him going on 6yrs now, and he never paid attention to me before
but lately he has, and hes not that type of guy to flirt with just anyone....
to be totally honest im not the only one who has noticed him only flirting with me
but i dont know how to take it
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A
female
reader, della16 +, writes (12 November 2009):
della16 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwhat do you mean by him being innocent?
and no he isnt really into fashion his band is a beautiful ring, white and yellow gold...
he is a high school teacher so it wouldnt bother him at work
hes been married for 3 years now and at first he always wore it, now he barely wears at all
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (12 November 2009):
I met a man who wore his wedding ring on the wrong hand. I asked him why do you wear that ring on the wrong hand? to which he replied, I married the wrong woman. So I said these are modern times just get a divorce. He said I did that but I got behind on my alimony and she had me repossessed.
Aside from that, I went years without wearing a ring after losing one and breaking the next. My Job I had to take it off often. Just this past year I bought a new one. Quite inexpensive but very flashy. My left ring finger has an injury. It is not straight and has a nasty scar, so I was worried that it might draw more attention to it. In fact People tend to ignore the finger and look at that big chunk of polished tungsten.
While it is worrying that he doesn't wear his ring, he may be innocent. If he likes jewelery you might want to invest in a few cheaper rings so he can match his styles.
FA
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2009): Hmmm. I slept with a guy who I later found out was married with two children. Apparently when asked if he was married he said yes, the person then asked 'why no ring?' - he said 'i'm married when I'm not travelling'. And that just about sums it up. If there isn't a practical purpose for not wearing it, I wouldn't trust a married guy who does not wear his wedding ring.
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A
female
reader, della16 +, writes (12 November 2009):
della16 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok thanks,he did used to wear it all the time, and doesnt conflict with his job.he wears it rarely now, but he seems to wear other jewelry like his watch and chain
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (12 November 2009):
It can do if he always used to wear it. Some men don't because it interferes with work (if he has a manual job, such as plumbing, he might not want to lose it). But if he used to wear it and isn't now, then you should ask him why.
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