A
male
age
51-59,
*aithoflove
writes:here it is i am a happily married man i love my wife and we have a great life together and a great sex life but we started playing around and expanding our sexual intrests in other thing like pegging which i love now we have talked about a 3 way she is kinda turned on by women but never been with one and she talked mr into a 3 way with a shemale and im really looking forward to it does this make me gay i love everything about women and a guy does nothing for me but i do find shemales sexy i live in a area (vermont)and these feeling are severly frowned upon in my community
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2011): personally i do not believe it makes you gay.
By definition, gay would refer to someone being attracted to someone of the same gender, a trans person or shemale is not that same gender as you even if they were born it originally.
To make that more clear, when you find a woman attractive you take into consideration a multiple string of aspects; face, body, sexual attributes, hair, mannerisms, and you find someone attractive because they tick certain, or all of the criteria you like or are looking for.
A gay man, is attracted to men, a person with male attributes, boths physically and mentally. A shemale, while still having genetically male genitals, no longer fits into the male catagory as they have predominently female attributes instead, and it is often these which are the attracting feature foremost and the inclusion of the genetically male genitals are simply an interesting, different, exciting and slithgly tabboo areas which in turn helps to arouse your interest.
To put it another way, if you saw a woman walking down the street, fully clothed, who is sexually appealing, you may be attracted to her, however at the time you do not know the genitals she actually has underneath her dress. Just as if you saw a man walking down the street, you may not even pay him much attention at all, to learn suddenly that that man had a vagina, would not necassarily alter your intentions to him.
However, in my experience, as a transexual woman, (who is now completely post-op, and engaged to heterosexual male), there are obviously those who do actively search out the shemale and trans individuals from our communities because it is there "trans" nature which attracts them.
This is an extremely varied subject to get into with many shades of grey and multiple layers to each story and each person motivations towards their attractions and actions.
However i think that keeping this in reference to you soully, that by the above statement you yourself admit to loving everything about women and this would not be the case if you were gay.
The trans woman, and the pegging, is simply another level of sexual experimentation and arrousal. Its probably also worth mentioning that the act of pegging itself does not inherently alter ones sexual orientation, as the the enjoyment and pleasure you recieve from this act is a biological response from the stimulation of the prostate and surrounding area (as it is also the prostate that governs much of the enjoyment of the male orgasm).
i think what is important here is that before you go forward with anything, you ensure to have come to terms with any issues you have with the act that you are wanting to take part in and to have fully discussed in with your wife so that there are no negative effects created in the future by your actions.
Remember that sexual orientation is a personal matter, and it is your own point of view that will control how you feel about it.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2011): you're not gay if you're happily married and still love sex with women. You'd be bi, but that said, there IS a big difference in a shemale vs a male. Does the label really matter? Just enjoy your sex. A threesome with a shemale is great fun.
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A
female
reader, caits123  +, writes (8 August 2011):
I don't believe that would make you gay. Sexuality is a very complicated thing, and I believe it is not black and white. I understand that can come off as confusing, but you know you love your wife, and you find her attractive as well. But like I said, sexuality is NOT black and white, and a lot of people assume that it is, they think you're either gay or straight. I suggest not to give yourself a label just yet, and enjoy your love life! Some people get lost in giving themselves that label, and forget that sexual acts with partners (whether same sex or opposite sex) can be a lot of fun, with no deeper meaning! As long as it's all done safely. I hope this helps a little bit and eases your mind! Have fun! ;)
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (8 August 2011):
 Gay means you are only interested in having sex and relationships exclusively with men.
So since you are married to a woman, and regularly have sex with a woman, you are not gay.
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