A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, just wondering what are the possible outcomes for my situation here. This guy Josh is one of my closest ever friends..we tell each other absolutely everything, have helped each other through our hardest times (parents divorce, death). We had a slight sexual phase once in the early stages of our friendship, which ended but attraction is still there with the occasional flirtation. He plays wingman and gives me advice about guys I have dated and I do the same for the girls he likes.But I am and always have been completely in love with him. He now is starting to see this particular girl currently and I'm being a good friend and giving him advice about her etc, genuinely wanting him to be happy, but when he told me he kissed her I suddenly felt extremely possessive. He's been through girls before, however I'm the only constant one in his life. Does it ever happen that the guy falls for the girl who's been standing beside him all along?
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male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (26 May 2012):
Why don't you just tell him how you feel?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2012): I had the same problem.. I had a best friend who was a guy and we talked about absolutely everything, and in our past we had kissed a few times but it all stopped because we were friends but i secretly still loved him. He would talk about his girlfriends all the time and how he felt about them and being a good friend i supported him and gave him advice...But the more i talked to him the more i liked him. This is how i played the game. I stopped talking to him so much, we went from daly converations to weekly conversation, and everytime he mentioned his "girlfriend", i would say thats good and change the subject, and ask im common questions and the if he mentioned his gf even again i would rush him off the phone.. 2nd i would ask him to come over because "i needed help",and i would look my absolute best, and flirt with him, when he finihed helping me i would kiss him on the cheek and say thank you a great friend and just stare into his eyes...he asked me why i was acting all strange and i said look i really like you and may even love you but i got to go and i stopped talking to him for a minute, when i did it was usually things like hey or how you been and eventually he fell inlove..were together aand happy.this may or may not work for you but, this is the game i played.
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A
female
reader, Meesh76  +, writes (26 May 2012):
 I think sometimes it can be the case that what you are searching for is actually there beside you all along. You have a strong connection with this guy and it's great that you are always there for each other as there are very few people that you can say that about. There must be a reason why you are not in a relationship though. If you are sure of your feelings for this guy I think you should go for it. However if there is any doubt then I think you should appreciate the friendship that you have and just continue to be there for each other. One of the best things in life is to have somewhere there to catch you when you fall.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (26 May 2012):
 Well, I think since he is currently dating a FRIEND this is NOT the time to put it out there for him to see.
And I CERTAINLY wouldn't put the moves on him either. But I don't think I could give him dating advice for a while.
I would suggest you DO take some time of dating and think this through. There HAS to be a reason nothing came of it with you two thus far.
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A
female
reader, The Girl with the Diver's Hair +, writes (26 May 2012):
Of course it happens and it's only normal for things like this to happen. I would say that your best bet is to just tell him how you feel when you're having one of your heart-to-hearts. Just come right out with it and see how he reacts. It's most likely that he feels the same. If it seems awakward after you've told him, or he has taken a while to answer just change the subject. If you're confident about how he feels go ahead and kiss him. If it doesn't go as planmed just give him some time to figure out what has happend and sort his feelings about the situation out. I'm sure it will turn out fine! Good Luck!
E x
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A
female
reader, Stanislava +, writes (26 May 2012):
It happens once in a while and thus are created some of the best couples. Is it just fear of losing your opportuinity or is it real love? Because if it is - you should definately do something about it. Now, when a girl shares about her love life with a guy - there is a chance she is into him. But the opposite doesn't reveal the same. Actually chances are he is seing you as his best friend with no love/sex thoughts. That means you should be the active one. But don't share your feeling directly (like - "we need to talk stuff") since he will be totally scared and unprepared. Ask him for help with some domestic male job - to fix some stuff at your place - so that he sees you like a woman. Turn on some music, start a conversation and mention you have fallen for him once. The way he reacts will say a lot to you. You can eighter tell him you still do and kiss him or change the subject. However, you cannot be sure if confessing your feelings won't end your friendship. But we should take risks in order to be happy. Good luck, girl! PS:Also - give him some time if he needs, it may help
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