A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Am I the only one who thinks that sorry has no meaning anymore? When my ex said he was sorry for leading me on, I just thought it's just a word, it doesn't mean anything to me... I find people say the word sorry too easily these days, that they think saying that one word will make everything okay, or justify what they did wrong.I suppose it's because people have said they're sorry to me too much in my life, so now i just hear it and think.. no, you're not sorry. It has no meaning. Am I the only one who thinks this?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2013): I don't really know what people mean when they say they are sorry. It seems it is just a quick way to say "I don't want you to be mad at me anymore so this is to placate you into forgetting what I did wrong to you."
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2013): I agree totally with you, OP.
I get irritated and sometimes downright angry when people keep apologizing and YET keep repeating doing the thing that hurt you, only to apologize yet again. it smacks of total insincerity and disrespect
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (28 February 2013):
 Well, it depends from what you want " sorry " to mean.
When I say to someone " sorry for being late " I do not exactly mean that I am wrecked by guilt and my life won't ever be the same - just that I aknowledge how my behaviour has caused you inconvenience or discomfort.
I think you should not be surprised that " sorry for leading you on " does not really mean " I am deeply repentant for what I have done and I seek atonement - but, more simply " hey you are a nice girl and it sort of sucks that I could not help doing this to you, but whatever ". Why ? Because a person who leads you on does not really care about your feelings to begin with, so imagine if he can be deeply repentant for the hurt he has caused you.
Of course that does not mean that you have to accept the apologies, you are free to send him f..k himself . But, look at the glass half full. At least he had the fornal decency to aknowledge that the way he acted may have caused you damage somehow. There's people that would walk all over your life like a stampede of enraged elephants , without even asking themselves the question if what they are doing is OK or not.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (28 February 2013):
 It depends on who says it, why they say it, how they say it, how often they say it... etc...
My mother used to say "sorry don't feed the bulldog" when we would say "sorry" and not back it up with actions.
"sorry" when not combined with changes and proof of the apology means nothing...
My husband RARELY says "I"m sorry" but when he does boy does it have an impact for me.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2013): I agree "sorry" is just a word, thrown around by people as matter of course, it's the weakest form of apology and as you well know, we use it here with very different meaning. We say sorry if we slightly brush past someone, we say it in place of excuse me too to signal we need someone to move out of the way, we say it if we didn't hear someone the first time they said something, we say it to get someone's attention in a shop, "sorry for your loss" at a funeral when we're not really all that sorry for it as we may not have even known the person or may even they're no great loss to the world.
OP sorry on its own is meaningless, true apology is shown through actions not words. A rapist can say sorry right after the act, it excuses nothing. It's said mainly by people to ease their own minds not as an actual statement of remorse.
Expressing deep regret and remorse for one's actions is only done through actions, not words. Most of the time I find the word sorry is used in a self-serving manner, "I apologised, therefore I'm mentally off the hook."
Linguistically sorry means very little here in Ireland we use it for so many things. It's pretty much an autonomic response to us.
Someone led you on and fucked you over then sorry isn't going to cut it, an apology is not accepted, fuck them and their apology they can fuck off. You fuck me over, then you can fuck off and save your apologies for some other sap who thinks you actually mean it.
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (28 February 2013):
 Listen up and listen well.
Words mean nothing unless back by actions.
Simple as that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2013): It does depend on the person....
They say that a true apology has three parts: owning up and acknowledging the error, saying the words "I'm sorry" sincerely, taking action to remedy the problem in whatever way possible.
Don't let people walk over you, but also give the sincere people a chance
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