A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So go figure this one out...I was with my ex boyfriend for a year. We lived together (from 4 months on).He dumped me just after Christmas. I moved out within the week.He'd spent almost £800 on presents for me for Christmas.Then he dumps me. The thing is, he was much more into me that I was into him. I tried, but the passion and lust/love just wasn't there from my side - but he said he was very madly in love with me, and wanted to marry me.So it's been a couple of months since we split. We haven't been in touch apart from speaking once to sort something out with the house we shared (we rented, he stayed on in the house).He sees my sister out and about, and grills her about me - what have I been doing, where am I living, AM I SEEING ANYONE? Says how great it was to hear my voice on the phone when I called about the house.What is that all about??Is he just being nosy? Is he regretting the split? Why ask my sister all this stuff about me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): if your ex is a player it may be that hes just playing around with your feelings but if he really has a heart than i think he wants you back. if he asks your family about you then it shows that he wonders about how youve been doing and what you think
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know I shouldn't care. But it puts him back in my head and messes with my happy equilibrium.
He called me today, which I ignored, then text me to ask if I knew a password to an online acocunt.
It feels like he just wants to keep me in his life by silly little measures.
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (1 March 2008):
 hun why do you care? you said yourself the love is just not there on your side - so why would you want to know how he still feels about you? he may still want you, he may not anymore, you may never know. if he wants to ask about you let him - why should it affect you? if he really wants to see you again, im sure he can find a way that doesnt involve your sister. he ended it with you and shouldn't be dragging your family into this - tell her to end any conversation before he gets a chance to start asking about you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2008): If, as you say, the relationship was quite one-sided, it could be that he is having pangs of jealousy - checking you're not having a better time with someone else so to speak. It is likely that he may have picked up on the fact that he was receiving little in return for his feelings towards you, and that could be the reason he suddenly called time on your relationship. I advise you do not have any contact with this man, and ask your sister to politely end the conversation if he starts talking to her again. He needs to know where the boundaries are - if he's ended the relationship, he has no right to ask your family about your personal life.
I do not believe he wants to get back with you; as I said I think it could be that he is jealous, maybe even resentful that you didn't return his feelings, or suspicious you were cheating and that's a definite sign to keep away.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2008): Only he can answer the question with any accuracy - but it's not uncommon for this sort of thing to happen. My first wife and I divorced 22 years ago, she still hates my guts but even after all this time still asks anyone 'in the know' about what I'm up to, which I find quite amusing.
Looking at it from an outsiders point of view I'd say he's trying to find out if you're still crying over your breakfast cereal and missing him madly. He'd probably like to think you are, maybe to boost his ego or something, so you might be able to have a bit of fun getting any 'news' of your current situation - anything you'd like him to hear - back to him via your sister or whoever.
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