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female
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anonymous
writes: my ex and i have been broken up for almost a year now. He's the one who broke up with me. Since then, he has never expressed a desire to get back together to my face, but has hinted at it. we had a few months away from one another, but have been in the same vicinity for the past 4 months or so. So, from these clues, does it seem like he's moved on and just wants to be friends? or that he wants me back? Or that he's confused? WHAT?!-I saw him once and he pretended like he didn't see me.-I saw him again and he came up to me and said hi and started hanging out with me, but when I said I wanted to just be friends, he started acting like he didn't know who I was or care about me much less.-I found out that when he was acting like he didn't care about me, he was talking to all of my friends about me and asking if they knew me when he first met them and telling them he's my ex.-he stares at me constantly and doesn't say anything.-two months ago I confronted him about it and he said he missed me, but he didn't see us being friends right now....but he loved seeing me, etc. -he told my friend I was beautiful.-like a week ago, he told one of our mutual friends that he really liked me and we were on good terms and he'd like to be friends with me, but its really, really hard for him and he's just trying to take it slow.This is the same guy who one year ago was BEGGING for us to stay friends. He still talks to me when he sees me, but its usually a shy "hello" and nothing more. Usually accompanied by major blushing.He broke up with me and broke my heart and said we'd probably never be getting back together, but wanted to stay friends. So I don't understand why he's acting like this....unless something changed?He had a girlfriend while we were apart, but they broke up before we started seeing each other everyday. To the best of my knowledge, he has been single since then. Opinions?
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reader, Your big sis +, writes (23 January 2006):
 Maybe during the latter part of your relationship he became very insecure about himself, you know. Maybe he felt that he wasn't "good enough" for you or "good looking" enough to have you by his side. Maybe his insecurities overwhelmed him into deciding being apart from you is better than dealing with his self esteem and insecurities. And perhaps you gave him all the support you could, but in his mind he may think of himself otherwise.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2006): hmmm, i guess, but I've told him several times I was over him and when other people have asked and relayed information to me, I say the same thing. because...well for the most part I am. He said something to his friend about how this was REALLY, REALLY hard for HIM, not me. He also wanted to be my friend RIGHT AFTER the break-up knowing i wasn't over him....i've also said I would never get back together with him, which is true. soo...why would this be hard for him? he's had other girls have feelings for him before that he keeps it platonic with, so why is it hard for him to be with ME?
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reader, Your big sis +, writes (22 January 2006):
I had a friend kinda like yours. He was always showing interest such as talking to mutual friends about our past relationship and doing all the things you mentioned. But in the long end, he simply wouldn't commit to a relationship again where I thought we could bloom a new romance together. He was constantly on my mind especially when we ran into each other. Frankly dear, my opinion is what I had to do...cut him loose. He's not worth the time or effort if he's not willing to make the necessary big step in relationshiphood. Besides, there are plenty of available guys who would take that step with you out there. Best of Luck to ya! By the way, my ex kept breaking other girls' hearts four years after we split. I'm glad I let him loose.
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female
reader, CCNJ +, writes (22 January 2006):
I'm replying to this as a woman who has gone through a very similar situation. You're reading too much into the clues. He probably ignored you at first because he wasn't sure how you were going to react. He said you were beautiful to a friend because he most likely believes that you are- the problem wasn't in the initial attraction- it was later down the line. It's going to be hard for him to be your friend... as much as it sounds nice- reason is- you are still in love with him..or at least still have feelings. He knows that he'll hurt you again and you'll hate each other if you get back together. Just be careful. If you do get hooked up with him again- realize it may just be sex- not love.
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A
female
reader, Takaira +, writes (22 January 2006):
 Be carefull of a man thats rejected you once. He'll reject you again and open up your wound again. Thats just my opinion
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