Does he truly love me or am I being taken for a mug?

A female age 41-50, *emel writes:

I have been with my partner for two years he moved into my place about 2 months of us being together, I told him it wasn't a good idea because it was too soon. He pretty much begged me and told me that everything would be perfect such as sharing bills, house work and told me he was depressed and nervous to move into a shared house with strangers. I gave in and let him. Shortly after that he lost his job, I have supported him for pretty much the entire time he has been living with me. I am a student and a mother to a teenager, the money I receive for my course has been supporting everything and everyone. I have had to work really hard at my University course it is really stressful trying to keep to the deadlines and I don't always have time to pay him 100% attention.Very often we argue about what I am not putting into the relationship. When I have been frantically working on a project he argues with me and tells me that I should pay him attention. He says he does everything for me around the house and tells me everything he does is for me but he doesn't realize what I am doing for him by letting him live with me for nothing. He made me a cup of tea and when he gave it to me I said cheers and he said cheers is not a girlfriend boyfriend way of saying thank you so we argued. I have to say I'm in love with you all the time, be in his arms all the time and be excited all the time. It is too intense, we also argued when I text him without putting kisses at the end of a message a lot more has happened but it's too much to put on here. I asked him to move out and now he is living with a friend and we are just dating. He has found a job and is happy. My problem now is we don't do anything, he comes to visit me, has bring beer every time, I'm not a big drinker so he pretty much parties on his own. We don't talk about the future or much to do with our relationship, he eats here often because he does shift work so I cook for him and he has baths and leaves his washing for me to do. he called me from work and asked for me to cook for him because he had to do a double shift which I did and when he returned the dish he hadn't even washed it. I am not a push over so I do stand my ground and tell him it's not acceptable. He still says he is in love with me but I feel a disconnection. He says I am beautiful and he finds me attractive in every way but we are not having sex or passionate kisses, we cuddle and peck but that's it. He has asked if he can move back in but I have told him I need to re organize things and de clutter first. I have been seriously thinking about putting a large sliding wardrobe in the bedroom for us both to have our own decent size space. I wasn't going to tell him and do it as a surprise for when he finally moves back in. I told him and it caused an argument. He told me he can live from a box which contradicted what he said which was he never felt that it was home when he lived with me before because he didn't get much of a say of how things were done and he didn't have much of his own space. I thought by having a big clear out and decorating could be a good start. I really don't know why he wants to move back in. Is it because he wants to start again and be together properly or because he doesn't want to be at his friends anymore as he is sleeping on a sofa? I hope I haven't bored you with my mini essay and hope to get some kind of understanding.

View related questions: depressed, lost his job, money, moved in, text, university

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A female reader, deirdre  +, writes (7 November 2014):

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