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female
age
41-50,
*RL
writes: I have asked this questions before, but I am still struggling and still crying myself to sleep....My ex and I split after a year in MAy 2006. I did not take it well as it was so unexpected and we had only spoken about marriage 7 days before. We argued after we split, but I slept with him on his birthday in August. We argued after I read into it too much. I thought that he was just using me, but he reckons that he wasn't. We went to lunch together at end of November and I stayed with him on his Christmas party night 4 weeks ago. Two weeks ago, I had flu and he came to my new flat with loads of shopping. Today, New Years Day, he came to mine and I cooked a roast dinner as a belated Christmas Dinner. I hoped he would stay but he had to go home and I burst into tears. I love him so much it hurts. We get on so so well and I can tell by the way he looks at me that he loves me. I just think he is too stubborn and proud to admit he made a mistake. He is leaving my place of work on Monday and I doubt I will ever see him again. I cried when he left then he text me when he got home to thank me for a lovely dinner. Is he giving me mixed signals? Does he still love me? Can I get back with him? If I ever want to talk about us, he changes the subject or tells me not to ruin a nice evening. He's so closed but I know or rather feel, that deep down he does love me. He's leaving work in 2 days. We work different shifts now and I don't see him often at work but he says he'll miss me when he leaves. We were so so good together and were very close. He is my soul mate and I don't want to give up on someone I love so much.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2007): before he goes, give him a card, with a little letter in it. wrote everything u jus wrote in ur question, about how much u were gud together and how much u love him. ask him to giv ur relationship another chance. see wha he does. leave ur number in ther too. may god bless u and urz..friend x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2007): Wow! I'm not sure how or if I can help. I'm sort of going through the same thing but different. The only thing I do know for sure is that since you have made it perfectly clear (and believe me, you don't want to behave in this clingy, desparate way)to him about how you feel, you need to LEAVE HIM ALONE abuot it. I know it's hard but, unfortunately it is no longer in your hands. At this point, you can only chase him farther away. He seems to want to remain in your life in so many ways. Please don't blow that for yourself. Try (very hard) to be yourself and only enjoy each moment and, whatever the two of you do, do NOT focus on the two of you as a couple. Do not cling on to him and over stay these moments. Whenever possible your best bet would be to be the first to initiate the separation after each session together. It can be hard to find the right moment to go, but it is important. If possible make other plans for after anything you do together. Stay as busy as possible and don't be so available for him. If he is concerned about you possibly 'moving on' he will pursue. Do not ever again initiate the conversation about your status. I can only guess that if he thinks you may no longer care, he will realize some feelings. (Maybe even the thought of losing you)
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite  +, writes (3 January 2007):
 to be honest hun its difficult to tell, some people after a split can still have love for a person and want to do nice things for them but dont realise their giving off signals and dont want anything more than friendship, tho on the other hand some people are stubborn to admit it that they want the person back such as hurt pride...my advice which i only want taken on board ( not a do as i say) but listen to youre heart hun if u think that what you do wont ruin the friendship you have now then ask him if he wants to be friends or more as you feel a little lost as to where you stand .. its all i got at the moment xx hope it works out for you
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