A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I was with this guy for a year and we both loved one another very much. But there was a lot of struggles we had to go through to be together and we both got tired of it so we decided that we should just stop for a while. Well... after that I text him telling him I was sorry about everything and blah blah blah but he never replied. Later I called him but he never answered and I text him again a week later. He's been ignoring my calls and texts and I haven't spoken to him since that night we decided to call it quits. It's been 7 weeks now. And we used to talk every day and he has never ignored me... even when we got into arguments we would always answer the phone so we could work things out.Does he still love me? And why is he ignoring me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2009): You two decided to break up, and he is doing the no contact thing to either move on from you, or to get exactly the reaction he is getting from you, you are chasing him.
I suggest you stop contacting him at all and start moving on with your life and that means that you just stop focusing your attention on him and put it instead on you.
I know it is easier said than done because you really loved him, but it wasn't working out and you broke up for a reason. You said there were a lot of struggles to being together, so perhaps it was just bad timing.
If you allow him time to heal and to fix any of those problems then if he really loves you he will be in contact again in the future, and by then you may have really gotten over him and found someone else or whatever.
But trying to convince him to come back, or apologizing over and over, or telling him how much you love him is going to have the opposite effect and push him away even further. He wants to stick to the original decision to break up and not to think he made the wrong choice.
Time apart will help him to decide if it actually was a mistake. That said you cannot live your life waiting on that to happen. You just don't have any control over it or any say so in the matter anymore.
He will be more impressed that you can move on quickly and be just fine without him.
Perhaps some time down the road, the two of you could be friends if not boyfriend and girlfriend. Right now the emotions are too raw on both your sides to attempt a friendship.
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (5 November 2009):
He's trying to move on. If you two have followed a pattern of breaking up and getting back together he's probably tired of it and decided this time it needs to end for good. I'm sorry, but that's just the way that it is sometimes.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (5 November 2009):
Oh dear, I am sorry to say this but it's over. I think he has finally moved on from you, and is ignoring you because of that. I think it's time for you to move on too. No doubt you'll be very hurt, but if there were always problems, then there was little hope to be honest. Give yourself plenty of time and care to heal, make sure you go out with friends and not just wait around by the phone then when you're ready, you will find someone else. All the best.
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A
female
reader, d-m_girl +, writes (5 November 2009):
Hey there.
Im sorry about the hurt you're going through.
It's awful to have someone you love ignore you.
I can only put it down to 2 things however.
He either is too hurt to respond.
And im sorry to say this, but im giving you the honest truth of the situation, as i have been in it.
I may be young but i hope it helps.
He could be seeing someone else now that you's have decided to call it off.
I think he may not want to be together anymore.
Im so sorry to have to say it to you, but when guys ignore a chick for this long, it usually means they're not interested anymore.
I hope you're ok.
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