A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: this is a long one....okay! when i first meet my current boyfreind we were both dating other people. All 4 of us were mutual friends and hung out a few times. As time went on my relation ship with the old boyfriend ended and a few months later my current partners realtionship ended. A few years went by and we dated other people and were just friend and would hangout with eachother in group settings. We eventually started liking eachother but the only issue was that his brother also liked me. So the relationship started off rocky. he made the decision that we should secretly date. Eventually his brother found out but nothing was said about it.now 2 years latter, we live together and go to school full time.Our relationship was decent but the last time we went to our home town i noticed something fishy. we were driving down the road past his ex-girlfreinds house, he pointed across the street to some new homes that were being built(trying to divert my attention to the new houses) and said look at the new houses.... blah, blah,blah.. menwhile he was staring at her house!!!i asked him "who lives in that house you were staring at", he said "oh a friend" and i said "pretty sure thats your ex's house". he just kinda laughed at me and said, "what? do you not want me to drive that way anymore?" he's done this a few times and im concerned that he still has feelings for his ex. one of his best buddies is the ex's brother and my boyfriends best friend is good friends with the ex so its always around us and she gets talked about alot. she dumped him,which is a first time for him. he always dumped the other girls. i will not stay with someone who still loves his ex but how can you tell if they truly do still have those feelings?
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female
reader, OSCARS MUMMY  +, writes (18 April 2009):
 it seems like there may be something there.. but he may just be inquisitive too, when i visit may parents house (i'm married now and live away) if i drive past an ex's i do look but just being nosey really i think its just normal. Its a shame that everyone knows everyone here so she can never completely be out of the picture however that said i think if something was going to happen it wouldve done by now, two years is a long time. I dont know if its possible to do but i would give him the benefit of the doubt but also keep you eyes and ears open. But who is she anyway, they surely dont have to keep talking about her.. next time tell them to change the subject (in a nice way) or change it yourself.. i certainly wouldnt sit there whilst someone raves on about my partners ex
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