A
female
age
36-40,
*ully737
writes:So my ex and I broke up about 2 years ago, it was difficult at first, but we managed to maintain a pretty close friendship... But now things are a little different.The last few months, we have been hanging out alone a couple times a month, and talking for sometimes 40 minutes at a time on the phone... Both of those things are not out of the ordinary, but one night when we went out he ended up staying the night at my house, and he slept in my bed (an all too familiar place) ... nothing happened, no sex, no kisses, no cuddling... but it felt really good to me.About a month or so later, we went out yet again, and he stayed over, this time we cuddled a little bit and I fell asleep on his chest. It was wonderful.All along this time, he has said some things relating to him being jealous when he hears about me dating, or sees me with another guy... And also has made reference to some of our more "intimate" moments... For example, last night we went out, and we drove by a beach where we once snuck away from at a party to go hook up he brought it up jokingly saying "remember that time??" and did the ole elbow jab... kind of strange thing for an ex to say to a "friend" ?So later that night we went back to his apartment, neither of us were drunk or anything, and he invited me to stay over... which he has never done before. He actually ended up getting sick (not quite sure what i should make of THAT! :-o ) So I didn't end up staying.Needless to say, Im a little confused. I dont know what this guy is thinking or what I should do, if anything... My gut is telling me that there is still some residual feelings there on both ends, but I think both of us are scared to really act upon them.Ive never gotten over him, and Im pretty sure he knows that... but does he still have feelings for me?
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female
reader, sully737 +, writes (25 May 2010):
sully737 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi guys! Thanks for taking the time to respond...
Since we've split, I had one brief serious'ish relationship, for about a year, but he hasnt even so much as dated any other girl, and Im sure he's had women take interest, hes very attractive and intellgent, and personable... but needless to say, also very picky, and nothing he does is by accident... which is part of the reason why Im confused, he isnt like "most" guys
What you said Grid, is exactly what Im worried about... It took me a LONG time to heal the first time, and Im sure it would be just as (if not more) painful the second time around, If we did decide to try it again, and he left me, I know I would be devastated... Im also scared that if I DO say something, that he wont feel the same way, and Ill be humiliated :( But youre right, I should say something... I dont want to do this song and dance forever...
The break up wasnt a particularly "bad" one, it was just bad timing for us to be together at that time, I had gotten out of a long term, awful, relationship which had done a number on me, and admittedly, towards the end... I wasnt very good to him. But we always stayed on good terms... When he broke up wth me, it was more of a "break" than anything he said "You need to tackle these demons, and take care of some buisness before we can be together" ... And now, 2 years later...
Ive told him recently that if there was one thing in life I wish I could take back and change, it would be that summer, and my behavior... Which is 100% true. Since then, Ive become a much more independent, healthier, and overall happier person. I just wish I met him now.
Maybe Im romanticizing this a little too much, but in a way, I almost feel as if the fact that we simply slept next to each other, and there was no sex involved, is almost more intimate to me... Its as if he just wanted to be next to me.
A
female
reader, Gridrebel +, writes (25 May 2010):
 He obviously has feelings for you. Maybe you should ask him just what they are. Don't you want to know what you might or might not be getting into? It's time to play the "grown-up" card and talk things over like adults.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (25 May 2010):
 Before I let you know what I think, can you tell us WHY you two broke up in the first place? That has a TON of bearing on my advice and is a missing element in this story. Also, have you or he dated since you broke up 2 years ago, and are either one of you dating now?
You both stayed friends, and that's good. Before getting the info I asked from you, sounds like there is interest on his end. Guys tend not to say stuff like that unless they're testing the waters.
Thanks for getting back to me.
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