A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was involved with a man and during that time we've had our ups and downs.. he used to tell me how I wasn't affectionate enough and that I was mean.. here's the thing , I care about him so much that I've been doing some self improvement both mentally and physically and still continue to do so but when I've come to make those changes to better the relationship he seemed not interested in continuing that path and even started getting to know someone new... that hurt me so much inside that when I went to his place to return his things, I spilled out how I was feeling and what I truly felt for him and even apologized for crying even tho I used all I had to try and hold it in... well he teared up too.. as I was walking to the door we hugged as I cried and he hugged me really tight and kissed my neck... he said its nothing serious with the other woman and that the spark there is more from her then him.. she is set to visit him for a week and stay at his place which kills me inside... I just want to know if him tearing up at the sight of me expressing how I really feel for him is a small sign that he might come back to me? Or that he cares about me/has feelings for me still?
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male
reader, redsox29  +, writes (30 January 2010):
I'm sorry. Give it some time and focus on you. Don't call or text or email, just do things for you to make you happy. It's time to be selfish. As long as you were true to yourself and said the things you felt like you needed to, you can't have any regrets. He needs to figure out himself and know where he is at.
I give you props for being brave enough to come out and tell him how you felt, not many people can do that and you should be proud of yourself for that.
I wish my ex had the guts to do that.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am sad to report that I broke the rule of "no contact" after having spoke where I stood in my heart and I may have dug a deeper hole then where I was.. so deep that he wouldn't answer his phone.. I pretty much killed any possibility of us getting back together ,I didn't say anything bad or mean it was quite the opposite really.. but I guess it doesn't matter how much I love him.. he doesn't want me anymore...:o(***
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A
male
reader, redsox29 +, writes (29 January 2010):
I'm sure he still cares about you. He felt like he was forced to move on so he did, as best he could, to do just that. When someone still owns your heart, you can't full move on. Sounds like he's been trying to move on but I'm sure hearing you tell him how you felt made those old feelings resurface. I'm guessing HE is afraid to get back together with you becuase he doesn't want to get hurt again. Who ended the relationship before?
Give him some time but let him know how you feel and tell him the things you've been doing to improve yourself, and make sure you let him know that you've been doing those things to improve for YOU not for him. I can guarantee he still cares a lot but he may not feel he can trust you if he opens his heart to you again.
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A
female
reader, visione +, writes (29 January 2010):
 Oh sweetie, you should have had told him earlier - but now you've learned your lesson - you should keep communication open and tell him how you feel, especially when it comes to rather important things such as this.
When you better yourself, you should be doing it for yourself with him as a motivation - you shouldn't be doing it FOR him. Wasn't clear on that so I brought it up.
As for what HE feels, no one here can answer that, only he can. You have to talk to him about this to chase away those uncertainties.
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