A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,So long story here, I met a man almost a year ago, well a bartender. Looking for an excuse to talk to him I went outside to borrow his lighter and we got chatting we used to sit and talk for hours while he was working and he would walk me home at night, there was lots of general flirting and a genuine connection. So one night when he walked me home I finally got up the courage to ask him out and he said yes!!We went out for a meal and drink a few nights later and he went in for the first kiss which surprised me but was amazing. It eventually came up that he was six years older than myself, we seemed to brush over this and it didn't matter so much to start with.We got into a "relationship" if you could call it that, it wasn't a publicly announced thing. I'd spend evenings at his every week and yes I did sleep with him, he was a considerate and amazing lover.A few weeks in he surprised me by calling me up and inviting me over to his for dinner. I arrived to my favourite meal (carbonara and chocolate soufle(not sure how to spell that) a beautiful bottle of wine, flowers and candles covering his room. This was when the problem started we had an amazing night, one i will never forget but the next time we met we went to see a film and he ended things because he was going to another city for a job. He remained in the same city as me for about a month before he left. He played the you don't really want to get involved with someone six years older than you card, personally I believe age is just a number.It's now a year later and I still love this man with all my heart and I still think about a future with him. I know he hasn't been with anyone (relationship wise) since me and know he is still single. We keep contact and he returned to the city for a couple of days unfortunately we didn't get the chance to meet.He doesn't know how I feel but i'm finding it difficult to have other relationships and move on.I suppose what i'm asking is how do I deal with this? Do I tell him how I feel? continue to try moving on? Could he possibly still care?Any help and advice would be appreciated
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female
reader, curious1987  +, writes (25 May 2012):
 Life is too short to hold things back. if u love this guy then tell him. the only way u are going to know if he feels the same is to ask. maybe he was just afraid the long distance thing wouldnt work out oe something. watevr the reason tell him u still love him. u really have nothing to lose. Xx good luck.Xx
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (24 May 2012):
Put your cards on the table, tell him that you still want to carry on seeing him, regardless of age gap or the fact that he lives some-where else. Ask him whether he wants the same and see what he says. Doing this will show you where you stand, either way. Maybe he doesn’t want a relationship with you, or maybe long-distance is not for him. Then again, he might have broke things off thinking it would be in your interests. Knowing where you stand will help you to move on, if there’s no future between you. At least you’ll have something firm to deal with, whereas your current state of uncertainty means that you’re stuck and unable to move forward. Get a definitive answer, tell him what you want and deal with whatever the result of that conversation is.
I wish you all the very best.
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