A
female
age
30-35,
*lleay
writes:Hi guys... I have a problem. Basically... I changed jobs less than 2 months ago and at my new job I have met a guy who is 6 years older than me. I'm 18 and he's 24. He's been in a relationship the whole time (couple of months) up until 3 days ago. Up until this point he has been harmlessly flirting.. for example asking if I'm cheating on him when he finds me talking to someone on the phone... and calling me a cutie... addressing me with 'hello you ;)' and often winking at me. I knew he loved his girlfriend though so I thought nothing of it... as anyone would. He and his gf were in a long distance relationship and I knew he missed her loads and rarely saw her so I kind of saw the break up coming. Then 3 days ago.. he told me that she broke up with him and i of course felt sorry for him and he saw i did and said he's fine with it as she was really spiteful in the things she said which made it easy for him to be ok about it. Then the same day at work, when he had told me all of this he was like 'so **** told me you were single.. ' (he already knew this ages ago) and i ignored him as i didnt know where he was going with it Then later i said nothing flirty at all and he said 'what? are you flirting with me' and i said 'really? you wish i was' and he goes 'maybe' and then later he overheard someone telling me that he's really into me and he was like 'nah you cant be with someone you work with'.... Since then he's been on this site which is basically just chat and images of yourself and one can see who's viewed a profile and he's viewed it everyday after his shift (i havent been scheduled to work) So i'm wondering what on earth is going on????? Does he want me but wont do anything because we work together??? Is he just harmlessly flirting with me??? Is he even interested???? Does he want a rebound??? I'd like to point out that I havent gone out of my way to lead him on or flirt with him what so ever...I have simply been myself with him just like the rest of the guys from work, so it cant be that he thinks i'd jump at the chance of being with him, because i've done nothing to make him think this. Anyway... please tell me your thoughts. Men are too complicated for me to understand!
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at work, broke up, flirt, long distance Reply to this Question
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male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (28 December 2012):
O I think people generally are complicated. Women complain men are too complicated, and men complain women are impossible to understand. But with this guy it’s pretty simple: leave him be. Maybe it’s a rebound, maybe he’s just flirty by nature and he’s not singling you out at all. Whatever the case, so soon after a break-up nothing good’s going to come out of any attempt to form a relationship anyway. Maybe in a few months things might be different if he tells you he’s interested but right now it’s too soon after his break-up and everything could all change around again soon enough. Let this one go and just accept friendship.
I wish you all the very best.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2012): You will know if you are are rebound if the talks about her all the time, shows you photos of them together and if always calls you by her name and if he still tries to maintain contact with her. That means he is not over her and is still thinking about her.
Guys look for another gal quickly to replace the one they had to prove to themselves that they still got it. Hence, you become the rebound girl. A filler.
He needs time, alot of time or months, to process the loss of his last relationship and to come to terms with it before he can move on and not date someone else so soon.
I've been there myself and I don't appreciate being sloppy seconds.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2012): Ahh you are young and barely stepping out into the world you will experience many new things and have loads of questions. this guy is older than you and as it may seem like a harmless relationship as you are 18, it can still mean danger. He may just be loosely flirting or looking for the last resort. As I don't know the full situation I can't determine, be careful though and if he comes to you first as a gentlemen, then if you like him go for it but always be cautious and don't fall too soon.
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