A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My ex bf broke up with me a month ago.Since then he has been messaging me quite a few times throughout the week, calling me etc, saying how he I am beautiful and how he still cares about me and that he is wanting to see how I am etc. And just making general conversation about how my day is, what Ive been up, like as if he wants to know what is going on in my life. The thing is, he is the one who broke it off with me. Now he said he wants to talk to me in person. Do you think he wants to get back together with me?The breakup occured during the heat of an argument at 2am in the morning. So I guess it wasnt thought through. At the time when he broke up with me at first he was saying how he was just unsure, and didnt want to break up with me because he didnt want to regret it in the morning. He said he wasnt sure if he was thinking clearly because he was tired etc and emotional/angry. But I kind of forced him to make a decision because I felt that he should whether or not he wants to be in a relationship with me. I was just so offended that he had doubts. So in the end he eventualy came to the deicsion to end it. Do you think he regrets it? Why does he want to see me in person? I dont think he wants to be just friends because I told him that I dont think you can be friends with an ex and I have never in the past. By the way I am 20 years old and my bf is 25.
View related questions:
broke up, get back together Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, imrana  +, writes (7 September 2009):
I think this guy just wants to have sex with you. If he doesnt like you for who you are and tells you that he wants you to live up to his friends expectations, and told you that you're a failure than he is not worth it. I would just move on and leave him alone. You dont need someone to put you down and make you feel bad. You can do better than that. Love yourself and know that you deserve better than that.Good luck Honey
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2009): Give to him straight, tell him to sling his hook because your not interested. If you have to, tell him your kind of seeing someone else.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2009): well, people do change and learn. But, I think you should proceed with caution. Having someone try and change you is not cool.. and by the sounds of it he hated who and what you were. You also sound as if your sorry that the relationship ended but, your kinda done. There are what we call deal breakers out there, for me, someone trying to force me into anything would be the deal breaker. Maybe this is yours.
My rule of thumb is go with your first feelings. listen to your heart it is rarely wrong. If your first feelings were to cut it off... then go by it.. if not (due to being inquisitive) then find out what you may already know. I have a feeling though that this leopard did not changes his spots for stripes.
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (7 September 2009):
 Quite often people like something in you, are very attracted to that something, and then want to change you into something "better", in their humble (or not so humble) opinion. I am sure he liked you very much.
On the other hand, I don't think this is going to work. He will always want to have sex, and you will always want not to.
I am cgrlygo in one thing. If you have no intentions of going back to the man, then say that, openly and directly. That is the right thing to do.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI apologise for not being clear.
I was trying to keep my post short and didnt think some of those things were needed to make sense.
I just want to know whats going through his mind. I dont want to get back with him. I just want to know what is going on.
I dont understand why he would want me back...because he was never happy with me in the relationship. He always wanted to change me. And we wouldnt make good friends either because of me not being who he wants me to be.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2009): you did not state any of the a fore mentioned. You only stated
"But I kind of forced him to make a decision because I felt that he should whether or not he wants to be in a relationship with me"
as for judging you. no, I am only offering opinions.
If you did not want an opinion then don't ask!
you didn't offer all of the information and expect me to be a mind reader and know what you left out. and then get offended by me not knowing it!
you made it sound like you forced the breakup... and then made it sound as if you were confused as to why he wants to be friends and could he regret the breakup.
Had you mentioned that he tried to force you into sex (which you left out)... then of course my opinion would have been entirely different. Somewhere along the lines of...
No one has the right to force anyone into anything. and you should always stand behind your beliefs and what you feel is right for you. Even if you loose them over it.
If they try to use this to make you do something you don't feel comfortable with then they are not right for you. anyone who loves you wants you to be happy and comfortable with your decisions.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDanielepew - he broke up with me because i wouldnt have sex with him straight away, i wanted to wait longer. he couldnt respect that.
Why did he have to make a decision there and then? i beleived at the time that he truly wanted ot break up with me, but was putting it off due to being afraid of being seen as the bad guy. so i tried to encourage it because i wanted the truth. and he was going away the following day for work for a while and so things needed to be sorted out then as we woudlnt be able to sort it out properly while he was away.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI wouldnt say we are continuing to be 'friends'...hes the one contacting me and I keep telling him its not fair, but he still does. That barely counts for being a friendship. I havent knwon what to do, because i dont think i can be frineds with him, it would be too hard and ive told him that. what do i do when he wont leave me alone?
And i dont think you are in a position to accuse me of abusing him. Considering he was the one who who tried forcing me into sex, who told me im a failure, who told me i have to change to live up to his friends expectations and who threatened to break upwith me numberous times so i would do what he wanted...hmm who was the abuser again?
I think you judged the situation very wrongly, on little informtion. and it sounds to me like you have personal issues which you are letting get in the way of judging my situation clearly.
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (7 September 2009):
I guess that the reasons behind the breakup are what matters. Why did he have to make a decision, in the first place? Why did you ask him to make a decision then? I assume there was a lot of coming and going before that. Can you explain?
On the other hand, he does seem to want to go back to you. But I am not sure the chances are very good. The reasons behind the breakup are important.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2009): well, you sure put a number on him didn't you? Really you are the one who forced the breakup. He didn't want to and was mature enough to say that but, you had to be in control and call the shots. I understand that you were offended but, that is what being in a relationship is about. By the looks of it, He was right to have doubts. If he's smart, he will move on. Because anyone who uses emotion as a battering ram on the one they love really don't deserve to be in that relationship anyway.
Then you continue to do it, by saying ive never been friends with an ex. This is obviously a kind man who cares (for what ever reason, maybe he likes emotional abuse) for you, and you are continuing to play on his emotions. Grow up!
...............................
|
