A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there.. A few words of advice please. Recently my bf and I broke up, 3 weeks ago. We had a chat and we were talking about futuristic plans and so, he then said that the business he has in nz is going well and when business closes down in sa his going to move to nz. I then asked him if I was part of his plan and his answer was 'I can't take you with even if I wanted to' I was really hurt by what he said and I slowly pulled away closed my feelings for him. He also said that we can just be friends, but that alone is really hard for me to do. I am extremely hurt by him I gave him everything and more which was possible to give him and I just put a side. He's been texting me and saying he never meant to hurt me he just wants me to be happy and I should not settle for second best. Although he does miss me. Is he regretting what he done? The thing is a close male colleague is trying to win my heart, as sweet and kind and loving as he is, I don't want to dump my head again, I'm hurting inside out and I don't want to mess up again.. What should I do? Thanx
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2010): I guess if you are not sure how your ex boyfriend is feeling about the whole thing, it might be a good idea to find out. Is he absolutely certain that he doesn't think a relationship between you is right? Or is he having second thoughts? I think you should ask him, so you know where you stand.
If he is still saying that you should just be friends and nothing more, then I think you need to give yourself some time and space to come to terms with it. He may want to remain friends, but if that is too painful for you it may not be possible. And that is okay, it can be very difficult to be just friends with an ex. So I think you will need time to work through your feelings, have some space from him, and try and consider moving on. You might find that you feel you can stay in touch with him...or it might be too painful.
As for the other guy, while he may be nice I think it might not be the best time to get involved with someone new right now. Just my opinion anyway. You still have feelings for your ex, the situation is still a little confusing, you are upset...it could get messy if you jumped into another relationship. Maybe you could just be friends with this other guy. Or explain to him that although he is very nice, you need time to work some things out. In time, who knows? But until things are either sorted with your ex, or ended between you, I would be cautious in dating someone new just now. I hope this helps. x
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