A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My exboyfriend keeps telling me he wants to get back together but things need to change first...such as my jealosy issues, the fact that I don't accept some of his friends..and that I annoy him some timesHe says he wants us to be together but to me he acts others wise. When I call he barely pics up. He barely replies when I instant message him (why I mean by barely is that when he does reply or call back is a long time later then he falls asleep on me.)I love him dearly and he loves me too. Should I believe that he really wants us to be together or is my hunch right? Is he just passing the time with me or am I just been paranoid?
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female
reader, B123  +, writes (27 August 2009):
 Best thing to do is do nothing. Really give him the breakup that he wants. If you keep chasing him by sending him mails and stuff and calls...he will just withdraw from you more. SO if you love him as much as you say you do, don't do anything. Its your best chance of rekindling what you once had. If he loves you and you do nothing..let him come to you. Men need a challenge. If you are constantly available to him he will see you as boring or needy or clingy and I am sure you don't want that. SO the real reason for the breakup is the fact you don't accept some of his friends and they may not accept you etc and it caused a rift. BUT he chose HIS friends over you!!! did he not? by you NOT accepting his friends he dumped you. PLAIN AND SIMPLE. The question now is, can you accept his friends ever? Why were you jealous according to him?? Maybe he was spending more time with his friends then you?? is it? Bottom line here is: he picked them over you. If he 'loves you' why were you the second violin? He wants to get back with you..why?? cos he feels guilty??
I want you to do something that may be v hard for you...I want you to DO NOTHING. You need to test him NOW. Trust me do not even send him 1 mail..NOTHING...leave it like that for a week. If he comes crawling back, tell him things have to change that you can not just go back with him like that. If he can not accept you for how you are as a person then you can not see it working in the future. Play hard to get..and if he wants to meet up...be busy for the first few times and cancel him...you got to show him you have a life and that you are not dependent on him emotionally!! Good luck ..hope it works out for you.
A
male
reader, Tomuchlove  +, writes (27 August 2009):
Hi my feeling is you should go with your gut feeling in the main its rite. My personal feeling is you should never change for anyone if that person truly loves you then they love you for the way you are without condition.Don't change for no-one unless you do have a real problem.If he is just passing the time with you then don't continue to let yourself be hurt the longer it goes the more it hurt's and cost's.Let your heart heal there is someone out there who will love you for the way you are.All the best.
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