A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my ex and i got back together after a break up of a year.he finished things then asked me back so we gave it another go.we've been together 4months now and its been goin good up until recently.hes been quite distant and doesnt text as much.he blames it on tiredness when i ask him whats wrong.i ask him if he still loves me and why isnt he as attentive and he says im being silly.well this morning id had enough and i said he should be single and to go and enjoy himself as he doesnt seem to be as in to me as he was. obviously i wanted him to fight for me and text back saying sorry and that he loved me but he got really angry and said ive made my feelings clear and to leave him well alone now. i apologised and asked what he really wanted but he said it didnt matter n that i had messed him around and that ive made it clear what i want.he tells me to leave him alone. does he really mean this or is he being stubborn?i dont want to lose him but what can i do?
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male
reader, Drew21  +, writes (1 June 2011):
 I would give him a couple of days to cool down a bit, and then ask him if you can have a talk.
Tell him the truth, tell him why you said what you said, and how you really truly feel.
If the relationship had already ended once between you two, I could see him going back into it a second time holding a lot of his emotions back, in the event that things didn't work out again. I know that's how i handled things the one time i tried to strike up a relationship with a girl who had previously dumped me. It actually made the second go-around even more miserable for the girl because i KNEW i was holding back, that i couldn't let myself care for her the way i wanted to because i was scared.
Unfortunately, usually if a relationship ends there was a reason for it, and the odds of that reason turning up again are probably fairly high, unless you both have learned a bit more tolerance when it comes to whatever that reason was.
I guess the only other thing to say is, every action has a consequence. You have to remember that in the heat of an argument. Feelings can be very hurt by what is said.
On the flip-side, if he was so quick to end things the minute you spoke up, maybe he wasn't really that interested in the relationship to begin with?
Like I say, I would give him a couple of days, and then ask if you can talk.
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