A
female
age
30-35,
*easuresocks
writes:I'm in a relationship with this guy for about 8 months now.The first few months he was very detached and when I spoke to him about it, he made more of an effort to open up. It was going well, and then a couple weeks ago he tried to break up with me. He said that we didn't have things in common and that we're not good for each other. We ended up staying together because I assured him that our differences weren't so bad. We were great after that. We were happy and I didn't see anymore problems. Until this weekend, he's started being detached again. He doesn't want to make an effort to get close again, and he's being completely indifferent about how upset I am. My question is, does he really love me at all even with him behaving this way? Or is this more of a hint that he wants to break up for good? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, measuresocks +, writes (11 November 2011):
measuresocks is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you girls for helping me out! We're still together and he seems to really want to be with me. I will stop persuading him to stay though. The next time he wants to leave I'll let him go.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2011): You should let him go. He clearly doesn't want this relationship. He already tried to break up with you once, that says a lot. Maybe he stayed on because he's too weak willed to stand up against you. It seems like you're the one directing this relationship - you didn't like that he was detached so he had to change his behavior to make you happy. Then he wanted to break up but you wouldn't let him. It's no surprise that he's being this way now, he didn't want this relationship to begin with.Why be with someone whom you have to talk into being with you?? And then when he IS with you, you have to try and change him because you're not satisfied with the way he is? You should be with someone because you both want to be together mutually. Rather it seems that of the two of you only you want this relationship. He's given clear signals that he's at best only lukewarm about this, so why would you want to proceed with someone who's only lukewarm about you?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 November 2011):
 It sounds to me like he is confused and he is unsure about what he wants. Him suggesting that you break up tells me that he is not happy in the relationship. I think he needs some time to himself. He is not communicating with you very well, and my guess is he tried to tell you how he felt a little bit and you tried to convince him that things weren't so bad so that is why he just agreed with you, because he didn't want to hurt you. It is time you had a conversation with him and asked him is the relationship really what he wants. Because to me it sounds like he is not happy in it at the moment. Maybe some time apart with no contact will give him a clearer picture of what he wants.
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