A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I found this man I worked with really attractive, he's really nice and fun and we get along great! I have known him for a few years now and consider him a good friend. My friends always tease me and say what a great couple we would make, and I never really considered it until now. When I first began my job, he was really flirty with me but I brushed it off because I was with someone but now I'm out of that relationship and been single over a year now I would really like to date him. However he is no longer as flirty and friendly with me anymore, he can often be moody and distance, (I usually put this down to having bad day). I decided to be forward and tell him I thought he was attractive and I liked him, but this was over the influence of alcohol!! Oops, but he usually just ignores me. I found out from a friend at work that he has been seeing a older woman (6 years older) on/off for a few months, I'm really upset, I think I've missed my chance and made a show of myself, if anyone could give me some advice on how I could maybe get him to like me back, because he clearly did like me before, it would help thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2015): Don't count on people keeping their feelings on hold until it's convenient for you. Flirty behavior really doesn't mean squat. Guys flirt and don't necessarily have to have any particular interest in anything but sex. They might date until they get what they want, and that's where it ends.
Don't place so much value on the "possibility" he would have dated you. Yes, the window of opportunity has long passed, and you made a mess of it by saying anything under the influence of alcohol. That is never the way to gain courage; because it lowers your inhibitions, and takes you way over what you really intend to get across to the other person.
Whether he prefers older women is irrelevant; and if he's still a co-worker, it is best you keep things cordial and distant. Keep your feelings to yourself. You know he's seeing someone else, and you're offering him an invitation
to make improper passes. He could always say you started it.
Behave yourself and get a grip, girlfriend. There are too many men out there to be gaga over one that isn't even that interested; and it's long past that old flirtation. That went stale a long time ago. You messed up when you got drunk and looked silly. That too will go stale; and fade into the past.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (3 September 2015):
 If he is seeing someone else, let it go.
He KNOWS you are interested and he didn't pursue it.
My advice - stick to NOT using your work environment as your dating pool or a cruder version, don't crap where you eat. (AKA Don't date where you work.)
Keep your private life and professional life apart.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (3 September 2015):
 Don't go there, really, don't go there. That ship has sailed and if it were to come back let it be him steering the wheel. People are friendly and flirty when they are interested but that was over a year ago so it makes sense that he no longer feels the same. Mixing business and pleasure is not a good idea at the best of times but throwing alcohol into the mix can result in embarrassing moments like you have just experienced.If it comes up brush it off with something like:
"OMG…did I, I'm sooo sorry. Sometimes I do the stupidest things when I've had a few, just ignore it"
Chalk it up to lessoned learned and next time maybe do some relationship status research before making a move.
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A
female
reader, Slippers +, writes (3 September 2015):
It's hard sweetie, I would hold your head up high, you told him and his response wasn't positive. So if I were you I would continue to be happy to see him and cheerful but I would not flirt .. maybe he like the idea .. as he knew you were taken .. maybe he has doubts about the relationship he is in .. maybe work just gets him down .. There are too many possibles .. do you see what I mean . Keep being you and move on ..
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A
female
reader, babalou +, writes (3 September 2015):
 Well, there's nothing that says he's interested in a relationship with you or even that he had been at one point. Flirting doesn't mean much. So that, combined with the fact that he is interested in another woman, I think you should let it go.
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