A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is not a virgin, but he knows that I am. He is about five years older than me, but I don't know how many women he's been with... We sleep in the same bed, and we'll make out and get close to going all the way, but he'll stop and say we shouldn't go further. I think he knows that I want to go further, but I won't if he doesn't want to. And it's been four months now. Why is he like this? He once said that he felt pressured, but this actually makes me think that he doesn't think our relationship is going anywhere. My theory is that he knows I'm not the one and that he doesn't want to be with me long term and when he says he feels pressure it's because he doesn't want me to get attached to him or remember him as my first. That's just my theory though, I honestly don't know what's going on. Or could it be that he just doesn't find me attractive? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, kayla20  +, writes (21 June 2010):
 maybe he wants to make sure that the timing is right and know 100% that you are ready because once yourve lost your viginity you cant get it back.why dont you ask him every time you come close to going the whole way does he say we shouldnt do this ask him out right and tell him you are ready
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 June 2010):
There are three reasons for a guy to act this way.
1 - He really does love you and wants to wait until he's ready and sure about how he feels. I.E. He doesn't' want to just use you.
2 - Sometimes, people get nervous about taking a person's virginity. It's a big deal, because for the rest of your life, you'll remember him as the man who took it. So he's under pressure to perform and make it memorable.
3 - He's lying about being not being a virgin. Maybe he was worried about how you'd respond, so lied about being a virgin.
Overall though, I think he does love you. I think it's more likely that he's worried about performing. If he didn't love you, he wouldn't be with you and would have used you some time ago.
...............................
A
female
reader, QZ +, writes (21 June 2010):
 I want to propose a different theory - what if he thinks you are the one and wants to wait for that reason? Think or if this way: you're a guy who's slept with other women semi-mindlessly in the past, and now you've met this great, fantastic girl you want to get close to and have a meaningful relationship with. Wouldn't you want to wait and make that first time a special moment for both of you?
I think it's great you've found a guy who wants to wait, because I think that means he loves you for YOU, and not for the potential orgasm you have to offer him.
...............................
|
