A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Right this is a long story cut short. I met someone a yr ago and for the first couple of months it was all good and then cracks started to appear. He had more female friends than normal, especially one who was his ex that would txt him flirty messages ie Hi babe ive got a fire going cds on why dont you pop over for a glass of wine... that sort of thing. In the end i lost my temper and sent her a nasty message. She went straight round and told him and he dumped me that night. We got back together but he told me if i ever did anything like it again that would be that. She constantly teased me saying she was doing his ironing or cooking him a meal and in the end i gave him an ultimatum her or me. In the end after thinking about things he picked me but then her mate Jen got involved and things went down hill.She (Jen) went out for his birthday flirted all night and in the end her husband walked out cause of her behaviour. He said he was glad he saw it for himself and wouldnt have anything more to do with her. Things improved between us and I thought we were back on track. Then another friend female of course called him late at night to say she was at the hospital with her brother who had cancer and she was upset and he shot up there stayed till late in the morning. Another female work collegue had problems with her electrics so he had to hold his mates hand and go and help, not once but twice both times on a thursday. His male friend has family issues and he went for a meal with him to calm him down. This week I was really ill with pneumonia he txt me and said to let him know if I was ok and thats been it all week. He hasnt come round or called me only txt. Am I a mug or am I over thinking things. We dont live together and I only see him once a week. Am I pinning my hopes on someone who I love but doesnt want me, or is all this in my mind
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (24 November 2012):
 Hi
He likes to be seen as some super hero,a stud and everyones friend and whats more he isn't about to change now. The fact he didn't come to YOUR aid when you need him says everything you need to know.
His life is how he likes it so why be an appendage that comes last in his priorities?
Unless you want to remain in this situation, I would just tell him you have been too ill to move and have had time to think,deciding his total lack of concern for you is a dealbreaker.As you *still* only see him once a week,after a years dating, I doubt you will miss him too much.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2012): Excuse the harsh words but first of all, you had no business texting his ex. You do realize if he didn't want to hear from her, she wouldn't text him. The problem isn't her its him! Cell phone # are not listed in the phone book. The reason why she continues to text him is because he allows it. A woman your age should know that. From the mere fact that he left you for it should tell you something.
Due to the fact that he is not there for you shows you the content of his character. If he can't support you the way he support everyone else should be a deal breaker. I don't think he is relationship material. Up to you if you want to continue to be on the back burner. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2012): he's taking you for granted! i can't believe he didn't come by when you were sick... i think that you would better be off alone instead of get more heartache because of how he treats you.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (23 November 2012):
 Seems he can bend over backwards to help anyone, but that doesn't include you.
He is obviously a guy who likes a lot of hangers on and has a reputation for flying into action when a damsel (or a mate) is in distress and the fact that he has defended some of these people instead of taking your view into consideration shows that he doesn't really see you as a serious contender.
If he's around your age, he's a little old to reign in so I think it's up to you to decide if this is the kind of life you want (him and his entourage) or to call it a day.
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