A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Last school year my friend and I began to hook up. After he graduated he left for an internship across the country and left me in our hometown. While he was there he would say I miss you etc... When he came home before going to college we hooked up and that was it, we were officially done with each other and were only intended to be friends....until Winter break. He came home and I contacted him, one thing lead to another and we hooked up several times. Now, I am planning to go down there for my Spring Break. Even though he says he doesn't love me, does he? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (1 April 2013):
 when you say "hooked up" I assume you mean had sex....
no he does not love you. he could easily miss you and hooking up and LIKE you enough to have sex with you when it's available but not love you.
he told you he doesn't love you why would you think he's lying?
when a man says I don't love you, they usually mean it.
it's when they say they love you that you have to look at their actions...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2013): From a male perspective, It sounds more like he's just wanting you to be available to him when he wants to "hook up" as you put it.
men are more transparent than woman. if he loves you he will tell you, if he says he doesn't he just wants to continue with having you hook up with him when it suits.
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (1 April 2013):
Dear OP,
I don't know if he does, but I would say that either he just likes to hook up with you for the fun, or he has some inner conflict going on why he doesn't want to be with you. Maybe he's afraid of commitment, maybe you mentioned love and feelings too soon. But a lot of the time, guys are pretty honest and women read too much into what they are saying and try to make up a love story even if it's not.
If I were you, I'd show that you're an independent woman and not chase after him. Especially when he's afraid of committing, too much kindness and initiative might be seen as clingy and unattractive behaviour. Don't always initiate contact, texting first, calling first, liking his facebook posts etc. :). From what you wrote, it sounds like you are giving in to him too easily and you're not in control of what's going on here.
Sounds like you make it very comfortable for him. You will be there when he needs some comfort, and you'll let him go when he wants to leave, no commitment necessary. If this should ever work out as a relationship (well, if that's what you hope for), he needs to realise for himself that he misses you, that you aren't easy to get, and that he wants you in his life. To achieve this (if there's a chance at all), you shouldn't always be there on his terms. He needs some time and no contact from you in order to realise that he misses and wants you.
So, think again whether you really want to visit him on spring break and on what terms. Even if you visit, don't be around all the time, do some stuff with other people, too. Enjoy life, also without him.
I hope I got this situation right and could provide some advice. Take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2013): Unlike girls most guys tend to be pretty straight forward unless they're shy. I think that he may have some interest in you, especially to keep coming back all those times but love is a strong word and I don't think that love is present but you never know. I would really think about how he acts when he's with you. Does he want to always hold your hand or have his arm around you, is he super excited to see you, does he ask if your available to hang out and does he try to get to know the real you. You could always and really should ask him about how he feels about you guys exactly and what he thinks of you but sense your not an official couple I wouldn't throw the word "love" out there because it might scare him away a little. I wish you good luck and true love. Sincerely Yours- BeenThereBefore
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