A
female
age
30-35,
*harene
writes:Hi,Im 17 this year and my bf is 19 this year. we had been together for 3 years plus going to 4 years. For the past 3 years,I think I've treated him badly,Im always nagging and angry him over a small thing. We breakup many times but ended up together too,because we know we love each other a lot.So,last year december,he started knowing a girl online. I ask him why and all,he say is because I am always angry and emo. ( I feel is something like this too,mayb he get too tired of me,everyday nagging and all). Then i was jealous so I started nagging again. After few days,I called him,I keep on asking himwhether he stil love me or not,he say he not sure and i ask him does he love that girl? *he was playing game that time* ,all he said was justdunno and mayb. At last,after asking for several times,he said he don't love me and love that girl. I was heartbroken so we brokeup after that.On my birthday,january,he called me and wish me. So after few days,I call him,and I ask him whether we should together back or not. I was surprisethat he say yes. I ask him,did he love that girl before. He say no,he just find a reason to be single because he was stress up,about financial and familyproblems. So we got back together. Everything went on well. Last month,we argue again because I saw him talking to that girl,online again. Iasked him not to talk to her but he say why must he stop talking to her. He told me that he treated the girl like his sister. We argue for a week,and my fren advice me not to anrgy him over small stuff like this. So ,I stopped nagging and try to cope with it. When we are happily together,he seldom talk to that girl but when we argue,he talks to that girl more. I feel that. So this week,I was smsing with my guy friend. My bf smsme and says he want to sleep (we usually sms when one of us is going to sleep),so we say goodnight and all. Few minutes later,I accidentallysend the message that I want to send to my guy fren to my boyfriend. I told my boyfriend that I've send wrong. So 30 minutes later,he message me and tell me that he'll be late for tomorrow (he come and find me in the morning before i got to school),i asked him why,he just saidthat maybe he overslept or sumthing like that. I go check his facebook and everything is like,emo,he was in bad mood. So i think that he mightbe jealous over that message. "it was just a normal msg". the next morning,he just sit in the car quietly,i asked him whats wrong,but he don't want to answer me. he just said that he is tired and did not sleep enough.. btw,he is in college now,he is having financial,family and studies stress. I cried and asking him notto be so cold towards me. I asked him whether he still love me or not,he say ya... Then i asked quite a lot of times,and he started to ans me,"mayb", and he said he dont love me" (my friend say that I'd annoyed him,thats why he is answering like that) *school is starting* He wan to drive me back to scold,I said no unless he tell me whats wrong. He said because of that message. Then,I know he is piss,so I decided that I should not ask him more question before he get mad. Get home from school and wait for him to message me,but he didnt message me. I was curious. I go facebook,and I saw him online,(he usuallymsg me when he reach home)... I was depress so I dont bother. After some times,I saw him talking to that girl again. He finds her,and talk to her. Hesaid that he need a listener,and he find her,telling all her problems to her and not me. I saw everything they chat,but my boyfriend did not know*i know im spying,sorry! couldnt help it*. he tell that girl that he is having a lot of problems now,and he hope that she can listen to it. The girl ask him why didnt him find his gf*me* to talk about it. He said he feel that Im loving another guy. And he started telling her all his problems,which I had already know about it. which is his parents quarelling and money problem. I am confused now,why did he tell that girl and not me??And now,he say he need time to calm himself down. I ask him whether he still love me or not,he say don't know. why did he said so? He don't love me anymore? I ask him to giv me the ans as fast as possible,he said if i want the answer now,it will be no. I asked,which means breakup? he say ya,and he said that thats whyhe need time to calm himself down,he say mayb is all the pressure he had now leads to that answer. I'm seriously very confused now, does he reallylove me?? *he is a shy boy,he seldom talk to girls,but he talk to her quite often,(online). they are just online friends. He said he does not love that girl and treated her like his sister*
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facebook, got back together, heartbroken, jealous, money, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2010): I really feel for you, It's hard to know what to do, I have the same problem at the moment.
Keep trying, if you truely love him you can't give up.
Just give him some space, go out more enjoy yourself and don't let yourself get down. This will help alot trust me.
I kept ringing my boyfriend, he was the only person I wanted to talk to, but I spoke to my friend and realised I was smothering him. Now I try to keep myself busy and try not to get paranoid.
Just be happy. If he loves you he will stay with you and be faithful.. If he isn't faithful then he doesn't love you. Guys like attention especially from girls it doesn't mean he doesn't love you (Guys and Girls can be 'Just Friends')
Do what makes you happy. You only get one chance at life so don't waste it on someone if he's not making you happy.
Hope this helps you somehow x
A
male
reader, Who  +, writes (2 May 2010):
 In you post you said “idk” twice and you BF said “dunno” twice.
I’m guessing this means you should let it go.
This is scary and will break you heart (maybe his too) but most people your age go through several times. They make it through and so will you. It will take some time but you will learn from this experience and be able to have a better, stronger relationship next time.
Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, Charene +, writes (1 May 2010):
Charene is verified as being by the original poster of the questionidk. I ask him whether he still love me or not,he say he dunno. he say he need time to relax. Idk what happen to him. im seriously very tired of this relationship. but i scare to lost him. whenver he is angry or sad,or even tire,everything he answers is going to be "dunno". He dont want to talk about it. He says he need time. Im confused now. whether i should let it go or not.
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A
male
reader, Who +, writes (30 April 2010):
Does he love you? Sorry but no one on the internet can answer this for you. Is this girl on the internet more than just a good listener? Your boyfriend may think she is. If you read this site you will see a lot of people think they know someone they have only talked to on the internet. Most discover the person is way different than they thought when you do meet them in real life. Anyway the way to know if your BF loves you and no one else is the way he acts and treats you. Keep talking with him about these things, if his actions follow what he says all is good.
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