A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This is a question that I'm hoping some men might be able to answer. Ok,here's the story. Met this gorgeous guy out of the blue a couple weeks ago. Turns out we both were incredibly attracted to each other from afar. He approached me,we chatted a bit,exchanged numbers,and texted over the next two weeks. He lives an hour away. I went to his house this weekend,we had a couple of drinks,and talked on the front porch,and in the living room for a good 3 hours or so. Things got a little steamy,and then a lot steamy,and we had full blown wild crazy sex. Went out on the porch and cuddled,had a cigarette,and cuddled on the couch after. He asked if I wanted to spend the night or had to leave,and I said I would stay as long as it was fine with him because I was tired and it was a long drive. So I stayed. Went upstairs to go to sleep,had full blown crazy sex once again. We slept,and had full blown crazy sex again in the morning. The ENTIRE night this guy did not leave my side. He was cuddled up to me the whole time,and if I moved,he just re-adjusted himself and threw his arms AND usually legs,feet,etc back around me. I mean I'm not comlaining,because I've never been cuddled so well by any guy,even long term boyfriends. And it was real cuddles,not like an arm just thrown over me,he was actually holding me. And would entwine our legs together and run his feet along my legs,or my feet. And randomly kissed my head,and shoulder a couple of times throughout the night. I know this because I was being so well cuddled that I couldn't get comfortable enough to sleep! Now from a mans point of view,would you cuddle somebody like that if you only wanted sex? Or would you only do that if you were interested in the girl? I THINK he's interested,but because I'm a woman,I am trying to overanalyze things,and it's way too early to have the "what are we" discussion with him. Plus,guys are weird and you never can tell what they think for sure. So I thought some opinions would help me figure it our for the time being. And yes,I know. I shouldn't have had sex already with him if I'm going to worry about whether or not he only wants sex. But the fact is,I'm not going to regret it either way. It was amazing. But I'd sure love for this to lead us to a relationship in the end.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2011): So, any updates?!
I wouldn't rule out a real relationship just because you slept with him "so soon".
I had sex with my ex boyfriend on our third date and we dated 3 years and he wanted to get married. My other former lover and I had sex the first night we met. We've stayed in touch for a year and he's one of my best friends now.
Me and my current boyfriend ( 9 months now) had sex the 5th time we hung out (right after our first official date).
So don't rule it out because of the early sex. But be prepared that may be all he wants. In all of the cases I mentioned before I ended up saying "look, i shouldn't have had sex with you so early because I'm looking for a relationship - I was just really attracted to you". The guys got it.
good luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2011): What's happened since then...does he call you regularly to take you out and get to know you outside the bedroom? I would be surprised since you didn't require that.Honestly just sounds like a one night stand. I think he was interested in the sex and he knew you were willing. All men are interested in sex and there are plenty of women willing to go along. Those women don't become girlfriends though.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (25 July 2011):
 Nice! Perfect example of how a guy uses his d*** and NOT his heart to get in with the lady. He's my effin idol. Now, ask him his intentions. Read his eyes, body language, facial expressions and all that other crap you women do that most men dont even know about lol. Thatll tell you where things are going. Communicate. Bottom line.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (25 July 2011):
 I think all you have to do is wait and see if this develops into something more than just sex. You'll find out soon enough. But as a side note, just because he cuddled with you doesn't make it any more significant, some guys like to cuddle and some are more the wham bam thank you ma'am type.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2011): Why is sex between two consenting adults not ok to some people? I had sex early with my partners in my last two relationships,and both were long term. If I'm feeling it,then I'm going with whatever happens. And if the guy ends up not wanting a relationship only because we had sex early,then he's a loser,because he took part in the sex too! It's ok for guys to want sex early on,but a woman should hold down her hormones?
And if the guy is awful in bed,I'd rather know sooner than later. Because sex IS important to a relationship,and if he's not good then I'm going to lose interest in the long run,and I can't hide disinterest very well. Just human nature. But thank you for your answer anyways,I apologize for not seeing it the same way you do.
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