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Does he just want me now because I don't want him?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 October 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 18 October 2009)
A female United States age , anonymous writes:

Hello,

I dated a guy a while back for about 5-6 months. We broke up in May. The break up was for two main reasons. The first is that he has a problem with ED (is very heavy over 350 lbs.) Both of us handled it not very well. I wanted to break things off after that, but he wanted a second chance. I gave him one and he did nothing. I told him the problem was probably due to health reasons. He decided to chalk it up to chemistry. He told me he only slept with two other women and he had married them. I thought it was sweet that he didn't sleep around. Before we got that far in the relationship, things were great. He told me I meant the world to him and even talked about combining families. We had a little hiccups, but nothing major.

It was hard getting over him because I did fall in love with him. I even thought of getting back with him a few months ago. I have met men online, but not found anyone that I have clicked with as much as with him. I even mentioned it to him when we had lunch (twice in one week). He told me he just wanted to be friends. Since our breakup he had played games making me jealous, while at the same time being there when I needed someone to talk to (lost my job in July). I did tell him that I had been in love with him. It made me feel a lot better to get things off my chest and have my say. When I got divorced I wasn't given the chance either so it even helped me close the door on that.

I emailed him two weeks ago if he wanted to go to the movies with my daughter and me (he has a son around the same age). He didn't have him that weekend, but mentioned getting a group together the following weekend to the cider mill and apple picking. He sent me an email along with a few other people the morning of the event. He also sent an invitation on his facebook page. He has a lot of people on his facebook and I thought it would be crazy to send it to that many people. He did end up sending it less than two hours before the time to meet. Of course my daughter and I were the only ones to show up. I had her send a reply that we were coming on his facebook. He even called to see if we were coming and then called another 15 minutes later to tell us where to meet him. My question is did he give such short notice to make sure only me and my daughter were the only ones coming? We did have fun, but I am finally over him and want to move on. I just want to understand the male mind a little better. I mentioned to a few women that I know that I went to the cider mill with him and they are were asking if we were back together. I didn't really think anything of it, but with the late notice it is keeping me wondering. Isn't it like men to want something that is not interested in them.

View related questions: broke up, divorce, facebook, jealous, move on

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2009):

Thank you CaringGuy the man I was talking about is in the entertainment field. He seems really sweet and nice but, has to have a big ego to be in the field he is in. I even saw him today and pretty much ignored him. I tend to see him because my daughter is involved in some of the activities he runs. I would appreciate any advice on finding someone that would appreciate me for who I am and who knows what he wants.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (17 October 2009):

Well done. Men are just attention seekers sometimes! We like to be adored and desired. However, that does not give us the right to play women like he's playing you. I suspect what he wants is the satisfaction of knowing you fancy him, so it's an ego boost for him. Not all guys are this insecure. Take a step back from him and let him do some running.

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