A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been with a guy whom i fell in love with we have been going together for about a year. everything was perfect never argued till one day during the summer of 09 i told him i had gotten a call from my ex husband's friend whom i had stupidly slept with about 5yrs ago and regret it ever since, well this friend wanted to hook up but i automatically refused and told him that to dont ever call again to leave me alone. when i told my boyfriend it broke his heart he couldnt believe that i the girl he made love to and fell deeply in love would have hurt him like that. well prior to that he had divorced his wife in 04 because she had cheated on him. he told me that the two most important things that he wouldnt tolarate were lying or cheating. so i went ahead and told him about the call thinking i was doing the right thing. well right after that he had me change my number and stop shopping in the areas i could run into him so i did. things seem to still be going good until he started telling me he was getting mental pictures of me with my ex's friend. this came about the fall of 09 he even told his mother about the situation and just couldnt believe that i would intentionally hurt him. it just has come to the point were he's stopped txtn me but he says he loves me still but he is hurt and he hates me for hurting him.. but when i ask him are we done he says that am the one who messed our relationship up so i should answer my own question. he wont even see me or call me. should i let him be or still try to show him that i still love him. because he will not tell me straight out that is over. but i dont want him to think that i dont care about his feelings neither.
View related questions:
divorce, fell in love, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Risingfromashes +, writes (22 January 2010):
My husband used to do similar as far as being controlling and making me feel awful for my past (I slept with my ex-boyfriends best friend years after we had split and felt bad about it even!)I found out he had more to hide than that and I forgave him, ended up doing everything I could because of that seed of guilt he planted, and because I loved him. His words and actions became abusive but he said "divorce is not an option" suprise suprise- new years day he just proposed divorce to me, and had them sent here signed already. If there's a chance this guys playing mind games with you and giving you innecessary guilt- you need to be strong and stand your ground. If he doesn't accept that then it needs to end before you get more involved and your heart could be ripped apart. Best wishes & take care.
A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (16 January 2010):
 This dude is trippin!
You did the right thing by hanging up on some guy who asked you for sex. Your ex - and he should stay an ex - has no excuse to claim he is hurt. You didn't see him, you didn't tolerate his call, and you were honest about what happened. He's getting mental pictures of you and a guy that had one time together 4 years before he came into the picture!
Oldersister is right, he does have serious control issues. He wants you to apologize but you didn't do anything wrong and you don't have to feel sorry about anything. He's the one with issues, not you, and you can't fix him.
Leave him alone and find a guy who won't flip out on you over nothing.
Good luck.
...............................
|
