A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My friend with benefits (that Ive been seeing for the past 9m) and I have become best friends and have told each other we love each other in the context of friends. From the start he said we could never be anything more than friends because i had thought i wanted kids and he didn't. I have since told him that I have decided that I don't. Sometimes I think he is changing his mind and sometimes I can tell by the look in his eye that he has some feelings for me.He had mentioned wanting to have a 3some with me and another woman (I'm bi)..the thought of it made me very jealous because I know I have real and strong feelings for him. (which I wasnt letting on about as he told me "never") anyways...I decided this past weekend to try a 3some with my female friend and her husband to see what it was like and to see what the dynamics of their relationshiop were like to see if it might work for me...if I would be open to the idea with my "best friend". So I did it and told him...thinking he was going to be really excited but it has all blown up in my face. He is now very very hurt and told me the thought of me with another man made him feel very bad/sad. He is angry and hurt and I am so confused now...that was the opposite reaction I had suspected...he did say "never". I told him at his house and he asked me to leave as he needed to think. Now im left feeling heart broken, sad, and more confused than ever!What do you think? Is he hurt and angry because he really does have feelings for me that go beyond friendship? Now what?
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best friend, friend with benefits, jealous, threesome Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Serenity1  +, writes (6 October 2008):
 Guys never really show their feeling too much...but as you said you seen in his eyes that he had feelings for you. With the reaction that he gave you from the news you told him is a confirmation that he does have feelings. At the same time I don't think you were wrong because if he didn't want another man to be with you he should have asked for a deeper relationship with you. So that's his fault. And as far as him asking you for a 3some he may have just been wondering what your reaction would be to that question.
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