A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband is normally a loving caring man, but once in a while he looses control of his anger and verbally explodes. He often does this over seemingly small things. It doesn't bother him if our 3 year old daughter is around, or if he is in a public place. It is always directed at me. I don't think he would hit me and I've never felt really threatened. Frankly it is down right embarrassing and upsetting to me. I am always to blame, and when it's over he acts like nothing happened. Does he have an anger management problem and what can I do to diffuse these outbursts? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2008): I think that this is very common with men. Men seem to have a hard time expressing feelings. I know, that's the old fashioned answer that we always use to justify our problems, but yes men see to be more that way than women. I know when I'm talking with my sisters or best friends we can talk about almost anything. I can talk about everything but my husbands feelings. Sometimes I think I just get hard hearted and think that he's just a wuss and can't find a better way to vent anger other than blowing up, althought that's not healthy. I still do it. I'm not sure what the answer is, I am seraching for that as well...is it normal. But it is kind of scary, sometimes I want to laugh out loud at the obsurd things he gets mad over...like me not answering my phone at work for an hour....or not getting the right kind of food at the grocery store...it's interesting.
A
male
reader, Kevorkian +, writes (1 May 2008):
 Sounds to me as it is his way of venting. Not a very good one. Has this always been the case with you two? If not, something is bothering him that needs to come out.
Either way, you both need to find a more constructive way for him to deal with issues he is having.
Try talking if that doesn't work, counseling is always a great choice.
Better resolve it before it gets out of control.
Good luck!!!!
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (1 May 2008):
 The first question is "was he like this when you were dating?" If so, then yeah, he's got anger issues...
If this is a recent behavior change then I think there's something else going on here... what? That answer is in his head. A few suggestions? ...maybe something changed at work? ...since you have a child, have you been growing further apart because you two aren't getting any quality (adult) time together?
If you think you can approach him and discuss it without worries of getting hit, then try to discuss it. If you are seriously concerned about being assaulted, then keep a bag packed for you and the child and be ready to split...
Good luck and please be careful! People with anger issues are unpredictable.
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