A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Does my boyfriend have a problem with my sexuality? I think he might be jealous of my past encounters, he hasn't had many sexual experiences himself, and is insecure about sex and his own performance. We've had many arguments about sex before. Most often while in bed, he will stop touching me because I try to show him how I like it. He gets upset because he feels I criticise him. It has lead to me not wanting to have sex with him unless I want it just the way he does it, because if I try to show him or tell him to do it other ways, he shuts down and turns around and wont touch me any longer. Im a sexually active person with a high libido, I've never had to turn a boyfriend down before, but with him it's become a problem (I have NOT told him this though, I never draw comparisons to former relationships).He is doing better, but the insecurity is still there. Last night I tried to break up with him because he gave me a snide comment about me being bisexual and how kissing girls in a relationship is just as bad as kissing boys. Which I agree on, and it's never been an issue. He has previously offered me to kiss another girl, without me asking about it, and I didn't do it (makes me wonder now if he was testing me). So that comment was out of line and he later aplogized. But it makes me think he doesn't trust me, or that my bisexuality makes him even more insecure. I wonder if this is a problem that can't be fixed, and that's why I tried to end things. He doesnt want to break up (and I love him, so don't want to either), and he suggested we go to couples therapy. Can it help? Or is this a deal breaker? Would he be better off with a woman with little or no experience, nor appetite for sex (and who's not bisexual)?
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insecure, jealous, kissing, libido Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2015): Even if he would be better off with a woman at his experience level, he has no way to look for that. What could he do, go hit dating sites or talk to women and say that out loud?
Its socially unacceptable for guys to say that now. We get verbal abuse for it. It makes us a hypocrite (no matter if that is true or not). We get below the belt insults. Some women feel entitled to tell lies because they don't like the question. Etc.
A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack  +, writes (14 August 2015):
Man, he really needs to grow up a bit in my opinion. Letting your partner know what you like is NOT an insult! It's necessary even in relationships where both partners have plenty of experience. Why would he not want to know these things so that he can please you sexually?
Personally I think he's too immature for you.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (14 August 2015):
 Yes he feels inferior and insecure because you've had more sexual experience than him. Plus the fact that you're bisexual threatens him at some level. I think couples therapy might be good for you two. Neither of you want to give up, he's just insecure and he needs to get that sorted. Couples therapy sounds like a good idea in this situation.
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