A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I have been with my bf for 4 yrs now. I am worried about his drinking. It didnt bother me before now it is because I am thinking about our feature.He always did drink, once I moved in with him I notice just how much. He used to buy pints (vodka is his choice). Then he moved up to quarts.Now he only buys forty oncers.(1.14L) He will go through that in 3 days.He drinks everyday. He has gotten a DUI and hasnt droven drunk since. Which is good. It does not effect his job(he doesnt drink on the job)He always pays his bills too. It does affect our relationship though. He drinks after work I am not sure how many, maybe 4 on a weeknight.Weekends he will drink half of the forty oncer. On the weekends he always starts drinking at 5pm, lately earlier. If we go to do chores and were not home around 5 or 6pm I notice he starts to rush or starts to complain to be done soon.A year ago he came home drunk with his friend and fell or got pushed into our glass end table and broke it. He was bleeding and just went to bed and past out. I clean him up and he nvr noticed or woke up.He put vodka in a bottle with juice a couple of days ago. It was noon when he did that and brought it with him (I was driving) His sister took a sip thinking it was just juice and asked me about it. His grandmother is very ill and is going to pass away soon and I think it is making it worse. His Grandfather was an Alcohlic. Do you think he has a drinking problem?What should I do? I want a family with him but not if he is sick.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2010): he has a problem.
i would now being a gran daughter and a daughter of an alcoholic.
but before he has help he needs to admitt to hiself he has a problem the correct term for this would be:
"hitting rock bottom."
you cant help him,the doctor,his sister cant help him the only person who can help his himself.
he deffinatly sounds dependant on alcohol and i can relate to many of his actions.
my mother used to put vodka into a coke bottle and sip it on the way to work.
its obvious that he needs alcohol to function!
if you look carefully he will be shaking throughout the day when he's not drinking alcohol this is another symptom of the illness.
you must understand that he cant help being the person he is alcoholism isnt an addiction it is infact an illness a very demanding illness and when out of control it can ruin families so before you start making a family think about the future what kind of up bringing will your children have around someone who is dependant on alcohol?
i remember growing up around my mother and i can tell you its HELL it messed me up big time..
i suggest you speak to your partner firmly about this illness pick him up some leaflets to back up your suspicions so theres no way of him denying it.
if he refuses help (wich is going to sevral times) you must pack up and go..
detachment is the only remedy !
trust me.
it is however important you keep in touch from time to time to check he's ok.
then after a while try offering him help again.
but the best advice is get rid untill they can get well.
GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS XXX
A
male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (15 February 2010):
 Yes, he has a problem. And it sounds like he's on track to having it become progressively worse.
You need to let him know that you're concerned. Do it in a non-confrontational way. It might be helpful to contact Al-Anon to get suggestions about how to bring the subject up in the way that's likely to be most effective. Knowing that it's affecting you may be enough to get him to take a serious look at himself.
You are absolutely right to be seeing red flags. And right to not want to make your life with an alcoholic.
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A
male
reader, Neboraic  +, writes (15 February 2010):
I think its a problem, sort of. If he can pay his bills and stay out of jail then it isnt really a problem. But im willing to bet he would have a hard time giving it up for a day or two, its an addiction.
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